“Rizzoli & Isles” Retro Subtext Recap (1.02): Three strikes, you’re gay

Jane returns and tells Maura to blow off steam taking a couple of cuts of the softball bat instead of hitting her credit cards. Maura is all excited, because it’s clear Jane doesn’t let her use the bat much. Nudge, nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more. But then Maura’s terrible batting stance tells us why. Jane gives her the “lesbian, please”-face and promptly takes back the bat.

It’s also the first Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching of the episode. Geez, ladies, making us wait for it aren’t you? Maura wants to have another swing with the bat, but Jane distracts her saying she brought “presents.” Old Boston Strangler case evidence isn’t the most romantic gift ever, but it’s the thought that counts.

Maura grabs a mini skirt from the pile, excited it might be vintage Mary Quant. I only know that name because Ricky Vasquez mentioned her on My So-Called Life once. Jane’s face registers no such Angela Chase sympathies, just the perturbed glare of a butch whose lady is chattering endlessly about girlie things again.

Old Cranky Detective comes to visit Jane in the office with his equally old case files. He says despite being a girl, she is a good cop. Condescension is so cute on the elderly. He asks Jane if she is married and she says that she isn’t by choice. Gay marriage is, after all, legal in Massachusetts. She says any man that could love her wouldn’t want her to do this job and she loves her job. Thank heavens Maura loves her and her job already.

In his files, OCD mentioned his No. 1 suspect Red, a career criminal who conveniently got out of prison two days before the killing started. He goes with Jane and Frost the suspect’s mama’s house. She is none too happy to see them, though her gaydar is amazingly accurate as she immediately calls Jane a “skinny, greaseball dyke detective.”