Great LezBritain: “Lip Service” Recap — Episode Three

“Great LezBritian” is a fortnightly stroll through the very best of British lesbo-centric entertainment and culture. Plus there will be some jolly good interviews with the top ladies who are waving the flag for gay UK.

The new titles have stuck – making them the actual Lip Service titles. They offer quite an arousing beginning.

Frankie, Jay and Becky are congregated in the kitchen getting ready for the day ahead. Becky asks when Jay got in last night. Frankie corrects Jay’s initial response of 10PM and tells a displeased Becky that Jay’s sorry arse didn’t get in until 3AM. She then continues to read the paper feeling a little smug at her early-bird s–t-stirring.

Episode 3 opens in a similar fashion to Episode 2, by the way of orgasmic moans coming from Tess and Lou. This time, we are in the kitchen with DS Murray and Cat, who are giggling like children at the noises coming from Tess’ bedroom.

Cat tries to block it out by stressing about her meeting that morning with a potential architect client, and like a much needed prop, the DS tells her how wondrous she is.

As Frankie and Jay continue to divvy about the kitchen table, Frankie eye-spies some photographers’ CV’s on the table. When Jay says that his office is looking for a photographer for some brochures, Frankie is annoyed he hadn’t thought of her. Jay has to point out that this would obviously be a bit rubbish for Cat, and then realising he is stupidly late for the architect meeting, scrambles out the door. Frankie is left alone to wonder whether or not this is yet another boundary she will dare to mount.

Jay arrives at the office in a fluster of fingers and thumbs, but Hayley-the-fit-intern is on hand to give him notes and send him into his meeting. A not best pleased Cat, who has been waiting with the client and trying to keep them sweet, begins the meeting. Jay apologises, telling everyone he had a disaster with one of his imaginary children, even though he looks, and must smell, like he just spent the night in a pub toilet.

Tess is telling Frankie and Ed about her phenomenal night of passion with Lou Foster. Ed does not love the re-telling and Frankie asks about Cat’s whereabouts last night.

Tess: We didn’t see her; she was already in bed with Sam.

Frankie looks like someone has just spit in her face and Ed latches on to try and shut Frankie out even further.

Ed: We’ve got high hopes for Sam. [looking at Tess] She’s great, isn’t she?
Tess: [not very convincingly] Yeah, she’s great.

Frankie looks delighted that Tess has clearly not thrown herself full throttle into the DS Murray fan club. Because it’s Frankie and she likes to s–t-stir, she asks Tess why she “hates her.” Tess denies hatred and pleads that “three’s a crowd,” and she is also getting tired of Cat dusting anything that stands still for more than 30 seconds.

Sarah: I don’t know why people don’t like living with tidy people; I’d see it as a bonus.
Lee: I had a flatmate that once wiped her nether regions with a towel when the toilet roll ran out. I’d have traded her in for Cat any day of the week.

Frankie suggests that Tess should move in with her, and on realising that Frankie is planning on hanging her beanie hat up in Glasgow town a little longer, Ed clinks his tea cup down a little louder than considered polite.