“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “That’s Me Trying”

I wasn’t planning on recapping Grey’s Anatomy this week because I assumed Callie and Arizona were going to be residing in Africa (i.e. Jessica Capshaw was giving birth) and there would be no Calzona storyline to report. To my happy surprise, this week’s episode, “That’s Me Trying,” starts off with Callie and Arizona still packing for their trip.

While Callie wraps the breakables, Arizona stands in the kitchen with McSteamy and offers him their appliances so she doesn’t have to put them in storage for three years. Calzona reveals that they are traveling to Malawi, Africa. Apparently actresses who are gay for pay LOVE Malawi. In fact, The L Word’s Jenny Schecter (actress Mia Kirshner) founded a humanitarian organization, I live here, which lends support to the people of Malawi. 

Arizona gives McSteamy Callie’s waffle maker and then tries to hand over Callie’s French press. Callie snaps and says to Arizona, “Stop giving my stuff away.” Callie has a lot of fond memories involving that French press.

Meredith and Derek emerge from the elevator and pass Cristina in the hallway. The ladies avoid each other like the plague. Derek asks Meredith why they are being so “icy” towards each other. Meredith explains that Cristina confessed her love to her and then Cristina kissed her on the mouth. It was the most passionate kiss Meredith has ever had and now she is confused about her sexuality. Ok, none of that happened but I should totally be hired to be a writer for Grey’s Anatomy, right? I know what their lesbian audience wants!

Anyway, Derek thinks the “iciness” is because Owen received the grant instead of him (men always makes it about them!) but Meredith assures him that is not the case. Speaking of Owen’s grant, Meredith and the rest of the Seattle Grace Residents must attend Owen’s mandatory trauma certification lab.

Owen asks Cristina to help him with the trauma lab but Teddy swoops in with some good news. Their patient from last week (Mr. Bad Lungs) is getting a new pair of lungs. Wow, that was fast! I thought most patients in need of organs are on the donor list waiting for month, maybe even years to get new organs. Although, they aren’t exactly “new” organs, they are pre-owned organs. I wonder if the pre-owned ones have cheaper financing.

Attention anyone who needs a lung transplant! Move to Seattle immediately, lungs grow on trees there!

Alex, April (ugh, I hate her!), Avery and Meredith gather for the trauma certification lab and complain about how they don’t want to be there.  Just like every day I sat through high school history. Alex says the lab will just entail lame exercises with crash dummies.

Suddenly, Owen runs in screaming that he needs help. A Greyhound bus crashed and there are many people with multiple blood trauma injuries and there are mass casualties. If I worked at the Greyhound bus ad sales department, I wouldn’t be happy with this product placement.

The doctors spring into gear and run through the hallways and out the door to find dozens of bloody dummies lying on the sidewalk. Don’t worry everyone, it is still safe to ride the Greyhound Bus lines because Owen was lying and no real people were actually hurt. Let the trauma training begin!

Owen splits the doctors up into teams of four. Each team is responsible for nine patients, err, dolls. The teams are competing with one another to see who can fix up their patients before an imaginary helicopter comes to rescue them. The teams wear colored strips on their uniforms and get ready to race into an ambulance, which is supplied with all the tools they need. The doctors line up just like in gym class dodge ball and race to the ambulance. I volunteer to do mouth-to-mouth on all the dummies! Don’t judge me, practice makes perfect.

The aim is to get their patients on the helicopter alive. If they can do that, then they get certified.

Lexie and McSteamy team up to work with a young woman who wants gluteal implants. The patient wants a bigger butt very badly. Ain’t nothing wrong with a nice ass.