“Glee” Episode 214 recap: Bye, Bi Blaine

Kurt and Blaine show up at the party, to Rachel’s surprise. Finn tells her that Kurt’s been blackmailing him ever since he discovered Finn’s browser history, and made him bring them along. Between this and last week’s revelations about warm milk and lady talks, I’m really longing for some quality time at Chez Hummel to see how this blended family thing is working out.

Blaine laughs about being “off the clock” and “not even wearing my uniform.” Kurt is, I believe, dressed like an Austrian Hitler’s Youth from The Sound of Music. I’m not entirely sure, and would welcome any kind of alternative explanation for his outfit other than that he’s dressed like a fascist.

The party’s being held in Rachel’s dads’ Oscar party room, which has a convenient stage for impromptu performances. But it’s going to end before it’s even gotten started, because Rachel’s doling out the wine coolers, two per customer. To forestall a mass exodus, she lets Puck break into her fathers’ liquor cabinet — and of course, that’s just the social lubricant needed to turn the party from lame to still-lame, but you don’t care because you’re wasted.

Santana’s doing body shots off Brittany’s abs, as I may possibly have mentioned earlier – and as I may, when things get otherwise bleak, mention again. Rachel’s guzzling wine coolers, and screams into the microphone (did you not expect there’d be a microphone?), “It tastes like pink! It tastes like pink!”

Kurt dances over to Finn. “Are you drinking?”

“No,” Finn says, “Designated driver. What about you?”

“No,” Kurt says, still dancing. “I’m still trying to impress Blaine. Can’t get too sloppy.” Then he glances over his shoulder, where Blaine is dancing and stumbling and bumbling, bombed out of his mind. “Clearly, he doesn’t have the same concern,” Kurt says, dryly.

Blaine sloshes over and drapes himself on Finn. “Hey, it’s so cool that you and Kurt are brothers. Brothers! Wow. So… tall.”

“Are you having fun, Blaine?” Kurt asks.

“Yeah,” he says, then yells drunkenly, “Best party ever!” Then he staggers off and almost falls, only to be caught by Kurt.