“The Playboy Club” recap: Episode 3

In some terrible news, we just got word that NBC has canceled the show, just when it was starting to get really good. The only thing I’m hopeful for, is that someone else saw how interesting and historically important the story of The Mattachine Society is and will extend it into a program of its own (preferably on a cable station where partial nudity and sex scenes are involved). The remaining three episodes that have been filmed will be released on Hulu in the near future.

We begin in Nick’s penthouse with “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” playing in the background and a whole lotta clothes strewn about the floor. Nick and Carol Lynn are basking in some make-up sex afterglow and Nick says, “We should break up more often.” She says, “Who said we’re back together?” and Nick answers, “Well I think once last night and two times this morning says it all.” Carol Lynn gets up, puts her clothes on and says she has to get ready for the bunny auditions. I think if he paid more attention to multiplication tables in the bedroom instead of arithmetic, he could’ve gotten her to stay. 

As the auditions begin, I get the feeling things aren’t going to go too smoothly. First up is Gayle, who seems plain and robotic. Billy looks like she’s giving him gas and Carol Lynn is just as enthusiastic about the new crop of hopefuls.

Out of all of them, she sees potential in a seemingly “sweet, smart, pretty girl” named Doris Hall, who spent the last two years abroad after leaving college. Billy thinks she’s full of herself but before he can finish his thought, Carol Lynn is already calling her over. Billy’s like, “Hey, you can’t do that,” but Carol Lynn (I’m abbreviating her name to CL for the rest of eternity) is like, “Too bad, short stuff, I’m in charge now.” And she hires Doris on the spot to start her training. Doris thanks them both and leaves.

Like a beacon in the night, my eye candy has arrived! Alice and Maureen walk in together, talking about Nick Dalton is a catch. Alice asks Maureen if she’s ever had a serious relationship before and Maureen says she’s been in a serious relationship with one guy, but it was a serious mistake. Tell me about it, girl! Maureen asks Alice if Sean was her first boyfriend, at which Alice scoffs but then retracts quickly by saying, “Well sort of. It’s complicated.”

Janie and Max are fighting about Janie’s marital status, and I’m fighting with Max about his straight status in that tank top. 

Drinks are poured, the music cranks up, the sound of rich white men laughing fills the room and another night at the Playboy Club begins.

CL is summoned by Jimmy Wallace, who is campaigning against Nick for both the State’s Attorney position and for a spot in bed next to CL, which he pretty much says so to Nick’s face.  As Jimmy leaves, Sean comes up to Nick with a drink in hand to talk politics and image. Sean says he can help get Nick some very wealthy contributors to his campaign fund if he puts him in charge of organizing. His suggestion? Date a certain very rich man’s daughter, just for the press. Sean says he loves CL and all, but Nick needs to be dating someone who the public thinks is the right match for him. Someone like Frances Dunhill, who also happens to be pretty gorgeous (which speaks to Nick’s interests). Sean reminds Nick that when the checks come pouring in, he’ll need to remember who helped get them there. He makes sure to snap a picture of the new made-for-magazines couple, and Nick excuses himself.

Mobster John is a persistent little bugger and finds Maureen to tell her that since Nick and CL are back together now, she should be free to date him. She finally has a pretty good excuse to say no to his advances, though, because CL made the no-dating-keyholders rule. Mr. Bigshot says no one would say no to him. He goes from asking her out to being creepy again and bringing up his missing father. He needs to revamp his flirting methods. Either be creepy or be annoyingly persistent. Women love consistency.

The new bunny is on the floor in blue and CL walks her around awkwardly to introduce her to the others. I’m not sure what Billy was talking about when he said she seemed full of herself, she seems very self-deprecating and sweet to me. Also, she walks as well as I do in heels. Oh man, she’s totally the new lesbian. Calling it now, just so I can do the truffle shuffle in celebration later. Alice tells her she looks really pretty and the rest of the girls get her tail fluffed for show time.

Bunny Doris frantically follows Bunny Maureen through the crowd and excitedly points out various celebrities, mob guys and influential people. She questions Maureen, “I bet some pretty crazy things happen here.” To which Maureen says, “Giiiiiiiiiiiiirl!” But seriously, “You have no idea,” and Doris seems a little too inquisitive and anxious to hear secrets for my taste. This show has apparently made me paranoid.