More “Glee” spoilers give us much more on Santana

Us Gleeks have been bare-knuckling the month of October as we count the days (hours, minutes – I think I might have even seen a seconds counter) until our favorite show finally returns to us. But during the long, dry spell, we have been privy to some fantastic Glee spoilers, particularly pertaining to one Ms. Santana Lopez, a.k.a. Everyone’s Favorite Lebanese Cheerleader.

Well, the news keeps getting better. WARNING: There be Glee spoilers ahead. Big, Karaken-sized spoilers.

Earlier this month we learned that Santana and Brittany will be “officially a couple as of episode four,” when the show returns Nov. 1. And then E! News spoiler queen Kristin Dos Santos gifted us with even more details about how they get together, namely:

From what we hear, Brittany (Heather Morris) and Santana (Naya Rivera) finally getting together isn’t a Will-Emma zero-to-relationship thing. We’ll get a sweet little scene and a moment Brittana fans have been wanting for a long time.

If that “moment Brittana fans have been wanting for a long time” isn’t a sweet lady kiss I will eat my couch cushion, I really will.

But yesterday,’s spoiler-in-chief Michael Ausiello delivered even more amazing news. Not only are Brittana making it official, Santana is coming out to her family.

Question: Is there any truth to the rumor that the title of Glee‘s Episode 7, “I Kissed A Girl,” has something to do with Rachel and Quinn? We’re dying to know. —Bobbie
Ausiello: If you’re asking me whether Rachel and Quinn go to first base, the answer is no. The episode focuses on Santana coming out to her family, so I’m guessing the title — and accompanying Katy Perry cover — refer to that.

Now, I know Faberry fans, for a brief shining moment you thought your ship might set sail as well. But take heart that more out characters on the show is always a good thing. And, who knows, maybe all those crazy conservatives are really right and The Gay is catching. In which case I’m sure you’re next.

Really, Santana’s journey has become one of the most fascinating ones on the show. From background mean girl to center stage gay girl, it’s almost like fans scripted it themselves. Which, if you really think about it, they did.

Series creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk have stated on several occasions in the past that they had initially intended the Brittany/Santana relationship to be just a funny in-joke. They had no plans to flesh out their same-sex attraction into something more than punchlines. But the fans, they demanded more. And now an off-handed joke in season 1 about sex not being dating has become a major character’s coming out story in Season 3. Give yourself a hand, Brittana fans. You deserve it.

Though, if I may put on my cranky pants just for a second (please let me, they’re so comfortable), I hope Ausiello is wrong about one thing in his latest spoiler. I really, really hope they use the original Jill Sobule “I Kissed a Girl” instead of Katy Perry and her cherry chapstick. First, they’ve already done Perry’s version. (Remember, way back when Tina auditioned and she still had a stutter?) Second, the lyrics to Perry’s version are more “experimental game” than meaningful sexual discovery. Third, come on, how cliché is it to play “I Kissed a Girl” over a coming out scene?

But that slight grumble aside, I couldn’t be more pleased with this progression for Santana. Sometimes, when you pray to the TV gods hard enough, they actually listen.

So, what do you think about these latest spoilers? And, who should play Santana’s parents? If I can get in one more prayer to the TV gods, please make it Sofia Vergara.

p.s. Once again, please don’t post spoilers in your subject head and don’t leave your subject heads blank. Otherwise, you might be subjected to the wrath of the spoilerphobes. Trust me, their pants are even crankier than mine.