Twas the night before pride and all through the house
As the roommates prepared to go party, Zach is scared as a mouse
Sam gets a lapdance at a classy lez place
And Zach tells her not to throw the gay in his face
The morning of San Diego Pride is rough for the roommates. The bedraggled, hung over housemates drag themselves out of bed to volunteer at the pride parade. Nate, who walked in on Frank and loverboy Michael the night before, cannot be roused and he is left snoring on the floor.
Zach and his parrot, fair Ashley, refuse to volunteer at pride on behalf of gay service members but agree to work at the House of Blues booth because they don’t want to be fired from their jobs. Zach is afraid that he might be touched by a gay person, which would undoubtedly turn him into a pumpkin, so he decides to obscure his face with a huge pair of sunglasses, which — as a side note — are a spitting image of the pair I wore for Halloween as part of my “douchebag” costume.
“If I see a guy in a tutu and wings I will die,” says the parrot, as she, Zach and a barely conscious Nate head to the parade.
The 350-strong military contingent marches past the roommates. “History is being made in front of my eyes,” says Sam, who says that her dad was in the Navy for 28 years. Sam tears up.
Nate enthusiastically works parade-goers and flirts with random blondes on behalf of the House of Blues, while Zach and Ashley cower in the booth, because glitter is inherently dangerous and will give you dysentery.
Meanwhile, Frank says that he is falling for Mike. “I haven’t felt this way, since, ever,” says Frank, who has clearly forgotten the first two episodes of this season, where he was punching walls and wailing over Alexandra and hating on her boyfriend Byron.
Sam and her lady friend and Frank and Mike walk over to the booth and canoodle, which makes Zach uncomfortable. I’d like to point out that Zach and Ashley have never even kissed at this point. My suspicions about Zach being so asexual that ALL sex bothers him – or possibly even being so far in the closet that he is in Narnia – are being confirmed.
Frank goes to the confessional and tells the camera that it hurts him to see closed minded people like Zach and Ashley. “What the hell bothers you about love?” asks Frank.
Later, Ashley makes an attempt to get to know Mike and admits that he is really nice. Baby steps.
Zach tells Nate that he had a nightmare where he was walking through a cornfield and, instead of corn, he saw “wieners.” Obsessive much?
Nate shows the beta version of his suicide prevention website to Frank and Priscilla, and Frank introduces him to the It Gets Better campaign and suggests he incorporates the campaign into his charity.
Later, Frank says he has noticed that Nate is becoming more comfortable about his sexuality and that he is even talking to Frank about Michael, which is a radical departure from the first day and that he hopes Michael’s presence will speed along the process of acceptance with Zach and Ashley as well.
Frank calls his mother and the conversation is tense. His mother is confused and annoyed about his recent declaration of his sexual orientation as “gay” rather than “bi,” but mostly because he is yelling.
Meanwhile, Ashley admits that seeing Mike’s positive influence on Frank has made her more accepting of his sexuality.
Frank is concerned that Trevor and Travis are taking advantage of Nate and that Nate may be losing sight of the original goal of his charity. Mike has had experience working with charities, so the two sit down with Nate and tell him to consult a lawyer. Nate says that he isn’t concerned with losing anything because, at this point, he has nothing to lose, and he brushes them off.
The episode closes with the resident grouch Zach admitting that “Michael brings out the best in Frank.” Zach and Ashley accompany Frank to Hillcrest, San Diego’s gayborhood, and appear to have a good time.
“They are making huge, huge strides to come around,” says Frank.
