The AfterEllen Huddle: Hot Docs

The most common professions for lesbians on TV are usually cops, vampires or doctors. Seriously, think of how many gay docs we’ve seen just in the last decade: Alanis Morissette as Nancy Botwin’s gyno on Weeds, Kerry Weaver on E.R., Thirteen on House, Callie on Grey’s Anatomy — the list goes on and on and on. In fact, we’re going to have another one coming up soon on New Girl.

“A lesbian doctor? So original.”

So I posed to our bloggers this week, who is your favorite doctor? I didn’t even specify lesbian, so we got a good mix going.

Ali Davis: This huddle topic made me realize to my sadness that my probable winner, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew’s assistant Beaker, doesn’t seem to have ever received his PhD. I’m guessing it had something to do with the pressure of his thesis defense.

That means I have to go with Dr. Lilith Sternin from Cheers. She’s crazy smart, has a devastating wit, and is enticingly uptight. And when she does finally let her hair down, she is something to behold.

Mia Jones: Mine is Dr. Quimn Mad Woman. French and Saunders are the best. A hot rag, a soothing voice and soon everyone is all better and “sleeping now.”

The Linster: I always feel a little uncomfortable talking about Dr. Arizona Robbins being hot, because she reminds me of RL women I’ve loved and that makes me get all protective. But she is. Hot, I mean.

She also is smart and adorable and wise and tender and persistent and beautiful and flawed and sexy and a good man in a storm. And she’s a little too perky in the morning. But perky I can take if it means waking up with her. OK, I’m getting uncomfortable again. Yes, I take fictional characters seriously. So?

Bridget McManus: My pick is Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable from The Cosby Show. Cliff, as his wife Phylicia Rashad would call him, was a charming obstetrician with five kids and a love of outstandingly ridiculous sweaters. Every Thursday my family would make a batch of brownies and gather around the TV to watch The Cosbys. Maybe it’s the dessert talking but, to date, The Cosby Show is my favorite family sitcom of all time. Rudy didn’t know how good she had it.

Emily Hartl: I honestly don’t have a whole lot to reference because I am physically unable to watch medical dramas without vomiting, so my pick is Dr. Eleanor O’Hara on Nurse Jackie. She’s witty, has excellent taste in heels and lives in a penthouse in a hotel. If she were real, I would try really hard to be friends with her, let me tell you.

Dorothy Snarker: How has no one picked Dr. Hotpants yet? What is this travesty. This clearly means you aren’t watching Lost Girl, which clearly means you’ve lost your damn minds. But that’s OK. More insatiably curious human doctor for me, then.

Dr. Lauren Lewis has been a bit of an enigma wrapped in a lab coat, topped with big, soulful brown eyes. We liked her from the moment Bo met her and promptly tried to succu-duce her. But now that we’re learning more of her sad, girlfriend-in-a-coma backstory, it’s only making us love us more. With a face like that and a healing touch like this, how could we not? Also, she’s kind of a closet top. The quiet ones always are.

Heather Hogan: Never have I ever loved a doctor more than Arrested Development‘s resident never-nude Dr. Tobias Funke.

Not only was he married to one of the hottest lesbians on this earth, he was also a raging homo himself. He also had some of the greatest one-liners in the history of television. “I’m afraid I just blue myself.” “Don’t leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!” “Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?” As for his medical credentials, he lost his job as Chief Resident of Psychiatry at Massachusetts General Hospital for giving CPR to a dude who wasn’t dying. But then he went on to become a licensed therapist AND analyst, making him the country’s first analrapist.

Trish Bendix: I want to get some acupuncture work done by Dr. Olivia Lord. I feel like she’d really do some magic on my back, and I am not a fan of needles. I am, however, a fan of Portia de Rossi. I can take it! I mean, look how good she’s making Joely Richardson feel!

What doc would you want to have check you out?