Laura LaFrate is the out bi contestant on the current cycle of America’s Next Top Model, in which American hopefuls take on British competitors, as well as each other. On the first episode, Laura expressed her crush on fellow “Yank” AzMarie, telling the camera she loves girls with a masculine edge. AfterEllen.com talked with Laura about coming out, flirting with AzMarie and model fights.
AfterEllen.com: So a month ago you weren’t on television. Now you are. How has your life changed?
Laura LaFrate: I’ve got to say, it went back to a pretty normal pace.
AE: Really?
LL: Yeah, it went back to a pretty normal pace. I’m actually staying in the area just because my grandfather is going through some really bad Alzheimer’s. So I want to — it’s kind of like I get to be with him in his last stages, which is really great. And then I’ve got stuff set up so hopefully I’ll be moving to the city pretty soon. But it’s really great just to be back with the family right now. It’s good, but at the same time, you want to get in as much as you can while he still remembers.
AE: What made you decide to try out for the show?
LL: I actually was scouted for the show — they contacted me. I had thought about it before, but it’s just such a huge competition that I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to go through all the odds and ends of it. At the time, I was in college for veterinary school. But the agent that scouted me was really great. He’s hilarious — we’ve become really great friends. He’s going to stop by New York City in a couple of months, and we’re going to go out and have fun.
AE: Were you concerned about trying out?
LL: I was definitely nervous, because I knew that it’s a huge, personality-based competition. But also the fact that in my challenge specifically – being a bisexual woman in a small town is not the easiest thing in the world. Because people will talk, and will say different things. I’ve even gotten hate mail. But it’s to be expected.
But what really fuels me is that I have been getting e-mails from younger kids who are discovering themselves, saying, hey, you’re not afraid, and I don’t want to be afraid either. And that’s what has made me feel good about this whole experience, is that people are now coming to me to talk, when I had nobody to talk to before.
AE: The straight girls just represent themselves as individuals on the show, but you’re in the position of being an out, bi role model. Do you feel any pressure with that?
LL: I do feel the pressure. You know, the show can be edited in such a way that makes me seem like I’m more crazy. When the show is edited, I seem – almost nuts. And that’s not actually how I am. You know, I love life, I love to be around people, but I don’t want younger kids to get the impression that they need to be so crazy. All they need to do is be themselves.
I always tell that to people: TV is edited. You only see 20 minutes of a person on a show, and you can’t take that to be the full truth. You’ve got to understand that that’s not all there is to that person. You need to really understand that these are individuals with backstories and you need to try to find a way to get to know them past just being a reality person.
AE: So what haven’t we seen about you that you wish the show had shown a little more?
LL: I definitely wish they had shown more backstory in the beginning. I did have alcoholic parents growing up. They’re in recovery right now, which I’m very grateful for. Basically from the time I was seven years old, I was kind of like a parent. So I had to grow up really fast. It shows people that there are more sides. It’s not just a person being crazy. No, I’ve earned my right to be the way I am, I’ve earned my right to be outspoken. I’ve gone through my own trials and tribulations. But, at the end of the day, I don’t blame anyone for what I’ve gone through. I just use it to show others that you that you can move past it. It doesn’t define you.
AE: When did you first know you were bi?
LL: This is going to be an interesting story. This is probably going to be a new one for you: When I was younger, I didn’t really have many friends, and I went to this social website — I was only about 15 years old — and I started chatting with people online. And I met this person, who said they were male, and we used to Skype and stuff, and eventually we started online dating. After a year went by, I said, “We can’t continue this unless we actually meet,” and then that person wanted to break up with me. And I said, “First tell me why, and then you can break up with me.” And it turned out that the guy was actually female. And I was just like, “Wow, I still love you. I don’t want to just let this go.”
So my parents, when I was 15 years old, flew this girl out from Texas to New York. She stayed with me for a week, and it was an amazing week. And it was really when I fully understood that I liked guys and girls. We had the most amazing time. Later on in the relationship, she cheated on me, and I ended it. But that’s how I knew.
AE: That is an amazing story.
LL: Isn’t that crazy?
AE: So it sounds like your parents were pretty supportive.
LL: Yes. Me and my dad are very open when it comes to talking about things. I told him about my ex-girlfriend, and he was like, “No, you need to fly her out. You can’t go through your life being afraid of what you like and what you need to know.” So that’s what kicked everything off, and we became very open about it. My dad and I are really close.
AE: Top Model tends to categorize people. Did you feel competition with AzMarie for the “queer model” slot?
LL: Really it was just funny, because I had just broken up with my girlfriend before going on the show. So I had just been unleashed. I had just gotten out of a year-long relationship and then you stick me in a house with 13 other women and only one of them is a lesbian?! I was like, “This sucks! This sucks so bad!” I was dying! That’s why I was so crazy. I was like, “I am hormonally unstable right now. You can’t do this to me.”
So I wasn’t even thinking she was like – I saw her just as another model. I had been modeling for about three years, and I have seen everyone from lesbians to bisexuals to transgender, so, I mean, I’m very used to being around other models. It’s about how they model, not about what their preference is.
I do feel like on the show does try to categorize, but AzMarie has such a unique and different look, and it’s completely different from mine, so it was just our modeling abilities, and not about our personal preferences.
AE: You mentioned that you have been modeling for three years. It seems like some of the other Americans had much less experience. Did you notice those different levels of experience?
LL: I don’t think it was so much about their modeling experience. I think it was about their maturity, personally. Because I’ve traveled a lot, I’ve been to different countries. I used to live in South Africa. I’ve met a lot of different people. And these were a lot of home-grown country women – they’d never left their hometowns. You could see it right away. I mean, even the British girls. When they first met me and AzMarie, they were like, “We know you guys have traveled. We know you’ve ventured outside your comfort zone.” Because the other girls just had no idea what was going on and how to deal with the stresses of the show.
AE: You and AzMarie flirted pretty hard in the first and second episodes. Is anything coming of that?
LL: We were definitely flirters. It was fun to flirt. Especially because she’s got a girlfriend. And I had just gotten out of a relationship. And I was like, “I feel no shame right now. I am shameless. I’m going to shamelessly flirt, and I do not care.” Because I saw a brief glimpse of her when we were in casting week in L.A., and I was like, “I want her to be in the house. Even if I can’t do anything with her, just to look at her.” I was like, “I deserve something good to look at while I’m on this show. Do not take this from me.” I even told Tyra that!
AE: Did you catch any interest off of the straight girls?
LL: Actually, yes. I did get a little naughty with one of the girls once I was outside the show. I went to London for New Year’s, and it was one of the British girls, and we got a little drinky. It was really great. We spent like every night talking until like 5 a.m. about sexuality and what goes on, and how it’s really not as it’s perceived by people. And that opened up the British girls to think about things they’d never thought about before. And the one girl was just like, “You know what? I want to try something, and Laura, I know you’re not going to take advantage of me, and I’d really like to experiment.”
And I was like, “Well, I’m your girl!” It was great.
AE: You get a toaster!
LL: Yeah. I’m just opening up their minds a little bit more.
AE: That’s a big responsibility. “
LL: Yeah. I was just glad she trusted me with that. I was like, “All right. I’m glad that you know that I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want to do. And I’ll go at your pace, and we’ll take it from there.” I had a good time in London. It was awesome.
It was even funnier because she had a boyfriend. That happens a lot to me. It’s not the worst thing that can happen, but I’d really prefer not to get my butt kicked.
AE: You mentioned hanging out with the Brit girls. Was there really a division between the two teams, or was that something that got played up for the cameras?
LL: It was definitely played up for the cameras. The British girls and I got along so well. I eventually even moved into their room to spend time with them because I just couldn’t take being around the Americans anymore. They were great. They were fun, they liked to live life, and since they’d already done the show before, they understood the stress of it. When the American girls were just sitting there getting overwhelmed with everything, [the British girls] were just having fun and being crazy. So I decided to join in. I was like “Ah, the American girls are boring. I’m gonna go stay with the Brits.”
AE: Did you have a best friend on the show?
LL: I had two best friends. One was Jasmia — she was the first one that got eliminated. It was really hard. I was really upset about that. And then my other best friend was Sophie. She is awesome. She’s fun, she’s crazy, she is absolutely schizophrenic. It’s hilarious. She cannot take waiting, and she needs to know what’s going on at all times. So we’d be going to a competition or a photo shoot, and she’d ask everything about it, until we’d say “Sophie, shut up! We can’t take any more!” She’d be like, “I need to know what’s going on!” and I’d say, “No, you don’t! Shut up!” We’re such good friends. We talk all the time, we Skype. I’m eventually going to go back to London and spend some time with her this summer.
AE: The last couple of weeks on the show you’ve had really good photos and done well in the judging. Did that change the atmosphere in the house for you?
LL: I think it was more – I don’t think it was that they saw me as more of a threat. I think it was more that they kept trying to say that the show was not giving them their best pictures because they knew they had better ones. Really, it was just breaking down their own confidence. I just decided I was going to take it as new day every day — I’ve got to go back down to the bottom every day and just keep trying my hardest. And a lot of girls didn’t see it that way, and it kind of brought a lot of them down in the end.
AE: So, you mentioned that you feel like you’ve been getting a crazier edit than you deserve.
LL: [Laughs] I definitely think I’m crazy — don’t get me wrong. I admit to my craziness. But, I mean, to be crazy like that 100% of the time, I think that’s a little draining. I can’t do that all the time. It was just tidbits. Even my best friend was watching the show with me, and he just looked at me and went, “Oh, Laura. You haven’t changed.”
Things come to my mind, and I just say them. I have no filter. It’s very bad. I get yelled at for it all the time.
My mother texted me during the show – I hope you know this – she texted me during the show and yelled at me: “Why did you say that?” It’s so bad.
AE: It’s got to be weird having your mom watch the show.
LL: Oh, God. My mom’s like, “I have to go to work tomorrow! I’ll see you later.” You can definitely tell she’s embarrassed sometimes. She still loves me. That’s all that matters.
AE: Do you think any of the other models have been getting a bad rap in terms of their edits?
LL: I don’t think anyone got a bad rap. I think they cut out so much of the Americans and their breakdowns. I mean, they missed a lot of stuff, like Seymone had a breakdown the first day. A lot of the American girls just crumbled. There was a lot of inner turmoil within the American group that was not shown on TV.
AE: That’s surprising.
LL: Yeah, it’s very strange. They definitely select what they think is going to be best because they want to keep that rivalry going on. The first few weeks, the Americans were at each other’s throats. They really were.
AE: Speaking of turmoil, can we talk about Louise’s departure?
LL: Oh, yeah, Louise. I love Louise. I think she’s hilarious. She’s strong. She’s crazy. She’ll kick your ass and not say sorry after. She’s nuts. But I love her. I absolutely love her. Luckily, I could see in the show where they edited out a lot of the stuff that Kelly [Cutrone] did say to her. There were some pretty nasty things said in between both of them. I think they were both at fault.
But at the same time, Kelly has built such a tremendous reputation, and Louise really did need to step back and listen to what she had to say. But Louise just broke. She hadn’t talked to her then-fiancé for almost ten days. She was feeling pretty alienated. And then to have all this stress from Kelly come, she just snapped. She was like, “I have never taken this.” I think it’s also because in the British girls’ cycles, they were encouraged to fight. They were encouraged to get as argumentative and as close to physical as possible. So it was definitely a different experience for her being on the American one.
AE: Watching that had to be stressful on the rest of you models.
LL: Oh, my God. All of us ended up bursting into tears afterward. She was such a tremendous presence in the house. When she left, it was scary. We knew she was a very tough contender. She’s a very strong person. And to see her break down was, like, wow: Someone so strong and someone so motivated can be broken down like that. It was a wake-up call.
AE: What do you see of the judges that we don’t?
LL: You definitely miss their human side. On the show, they seem so serious and so stern every day, but, no, they make mistakes. They laugh. They make perverted comments — they’re just like anybody else. They encourage us to get crazy. They encourage us to be a little bit wild, because you’ve got to do stuff to keep your sanity being on a show where you’re not allowed to have cell phones, or watch TV, or be in contact at all times. So they really do encourage us to be a little bit naughty and crazy.
And just to see them make mistakes and be human is a really nice thing.
AE: Did you have favorite judge?
LL: Kelly Cutrone. I love her. I love her so much.
AE: Really? She got a monster edit last week.
LL: [Laughs] She did, but what you don’t see is that she and I would crack perverted jokes all the time. We would talk about sex. We would talk about guys, we would talk about girls, I mean everything. She’s hilarious. She was awesome. But she’s got to be stern on TV just to show that you’ve got to deal with personalities like that all the time, and you’ve just got to know how to take it and swallow your pride.
Kelly’s awesome. She blew me away. She’s so cool.
AE: What would viewers be surprised to know about Tyra?
LL: That she can trip in heels. That’s hilarious. I always thought that she just walked on water in these 10-inch heels, but she did trip a few times. And then she’d make jokes about it, which was the best part. She’d say, “Hey, we all fall! We all fall! It happens!” It was great.
She’s fun. We even got her to do some rapping, and that was cool too. We definitely got a different side of her. And she told some interesting stories, too, from when she was on the road, and she could get a little wild and crazy with her fellow Modelteers.
AE: I know you can’t really give any spoilers, but is there anything we should be watching for? Can you give us a teaser?
LL: I will just say that, yeah, I can be free-spirited and fun, and I know how to have a really good time, but if I’m pushed, I can snap. And I can snap in a pretty harsh way. So that’s something to be watching out for. I am not to be messed with. I can be fun and easygoing, but if you push me bad, I will push back twice as hard.
And yeah, 14 girls and only one lesbian. That was really unfair. I just want to say that. [Laughs] They knew. They knew what they were bringing on the show.
AE: So on that point, you and a lot of the other models had been out on your own for a while. How did you deal with essentially being back in a very tiny dorm with less privacy?
LL:Actually, when I lived in South Africa, I had to live in a very small room with a bunch of models, so I was already used to it. And I know what goes on, especially in a real-world model house. It’s definitely not as much fun. Girls are scary. They’ll take your stuff. They’ll take your money. They’ll steal your alarm clock. They’ll take your hair products and makeup. In the real world of modeling, you’ve got to watch your back. So I was used to it.
But I also knew that this was really a much more safe, secure place. And TV does not show that it is not glamorous when it comes down to the nitty-gritty. I mean, I got into a fight once with this chick that I was living with: She had left her weave — I mean real hair — in the bathtub, and I flipped out at her. And she told me not to leave cups on the counter. So I took the cup and I threw it at her head, and I was like, “There! There’s the cup! Clean it up yourself! Don’t you dare leave your hair around anymore! I will burn it! That’s disgusting!”
Girls will go nuts on each other in these houses. And that’s why I eventually moved out of the model house and got my own apartment, because I just couldn’t take it anymore.
AE: Where do you see yourself going next?
LL: I’m starting my own T-shirt line that’s going to be coming out soon. And then I’m also going to continue my veterinarian studies for big cats.
AE: Wait. For big cats?
LL: Yes, lions and tigers. I love big animals. I’ve loved cheetahs and tigers since I was little. I want to do rehabilitation and release and eventually live in South Africa. So that’s my goal.
AE: Anything you want AfterEllen.com readers to know?
LL: It’s crazy – I’ve got a new following now. It’s going to be interesting what I’m going to do with all these women now. Being good sucks. It sucks so much. [Laughs] You’re definitely going to hear more from me and my crazy antics.
[For younger AE readers], my biggest advice is that if you need support, if you need help, there are tons of hotlines and websites that you can go to and talk about it. You are not in any way different than the next person walking down the street, because they definitely have their own desires, their own quirks that make them different.Being a lesbian or bisexual or gay, it’s not something that makes you different from anybody else. It just means that you have your own identity, and no one can take that away from you. And you should not feel bad for it, either. I went through a long time hating myself for it, but once you learn to accept it and embrace it, you can’t believe what life will bring to you.
