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Batwoman Recap 1.12 – Take Your Choice

The episode starts with Sophie telling an incarcerated Jacob Kane “we need you back at headquarters.” As acting-commander, she’s still stinging from letting Alice slip away from her in maximum security, with a piece of string no less. Jacob replies, “don’t doubt yourself.” And then essentially gives Sophie the greenlight to kill his daughter: “eliminate the threat, at any cost.”

Then we see a montage of Crows Security hunting her down, with Sophie strutting up the office with a boss suit and door-busting swagger, saying, “Honestly, I don’t know who’s a bigger threat to Gotham, Alice… or us. For letting her get away.” Essentially, Sophie puts in place a shoot-to-kill order. Which is… not so great for alternate-universe Good Beth.

And Beth is already having a bad time, with her splitting headaches from coexisting with Alice in this world. A-Team Luke and Mary and driving her out of the city for help, but they hit a road block. They bicker like an old married couple about whether to pretend to be having a baby or asthma attack. “We’re screwed.” Beth shimmies under a blankie.

Mary tries to play entitled daughter of the commander, and it almost works, but the guard flips out and raises his freaking machine gun. These police state Crows are scary! Alas, Beth is seen in backseat having a mega migraine. It really seems like the game is lost, until just in time Batwoman zooms in on her Batcycle and hog-tie tethers all the guards, allowing our friends to escape (and niftily change their license plate). It was a scene worthy of The Dark Knight!

They end up at the Wayne office, where Mary runs some tests, only to find that her cells are disappearing at a molecular level, whatever that means. Beth tells Kate that Batwoman saved her life earlier. Kate is like a heh, ha, oh? suspiciously cavalier. I forgot that sweet astrophysicist Beth doesn’t know. You’d think she’d have some suspicions given that Kate kicked ass with the burning car last episode.

But, forget everything I just said. Because what I really want to focus on here is Ruby’s hair- grown out and heavily parted. There must be a gallon of product in there, but it’s flat as if she wore the bat helmet to bed. It’s real smushy. And her makeup just inherently pushes it into feminine soccer mom territory. No amount of unbuttoned henley shirt can make this work.

Okay, back to the action. Beth explains her situation:

“Collateral damage from the multiverse collapsing. In other words, this universe it literally not big enough for the both of us. And the longer we coexist in this world, the more we’re living on borrowed time, except we’re borrowing it from each other.”

And that timeframe is seven hours.

So Batwoman tracks down Sophie and implores her to end the kill-order. Batwoman asks to be able to take in Alice her way. They’re standing very close. Batwoman’s voice modulator makes her tenor deep and confident. Unlike Kate’s Aussie mumble-core antics, I like Ruby’s acting best when she’s the Bat. With a gentle, slow, intimate hand on her shoulder that says please, Batwoman tells Sophie, “You once told me you trusted me.” Moments go by. But Sophie can’t, and backs away.

Welp, both these goobers are terrible at catching Alice, who shows up where Beth and Luke are admitting to themselves that one of the two must die. Thankfully Kate shows up. But wait! Her hair is completely different now! Skaterboi swoop. What’s going on with the show’s hair interns? Alice throws her butterfly knife at Beth but Kate catches it Karate Kid style.

Somehow Alice escapes (blergh wtf people get it together) and shows up at Mary’s clinic. Poor Mary. I can’t wait until she can have some bloody peace. Alice remembers that Mary ingested a rare antidote when she and her mom were poisoned, and thinks this may be useful.

Okay, but buckle up fans. Cuz something even more ludicrous happens next. Mouse’s father (Beth’s childhood captor) has been living a double life as a Gotham plastic surgeon. He enters Mouse’s hospital room and starts talking about wanting what’s best for his son, giving him purpose. Hmm this all sounds familiar. Suddenly he rips off the face mask in a single gooey sheath – ta-da, dad’s back. Just WOW. But Mouse isn’t happy to see his abuser, and defends Alice as the only person who ever accepted him scars and all.

Okay, next crazy thing. At the clinic, Alice withdraws a huge needle of blood from an unconscious Mary’s neck. But with the rage of a vengeful daughter, Mary leaps up and tackles the shiznit outta Alice and cuffs her to a table. I’m so proud of our sweet bb.

And finally, back at the Wayne building, Kate is consoling a sick Beth…. And her hair is back to floppy. Beth tells her on her universe Kate has a soulmate- a beautiful, enviable relationship. Hmmmm.

Alice tells the Crows where to find Beth. They have no choice but to slip away through the Bat Cave. Finding out the truth, Beth is proud of her sister. And even now, Beth empathizes with Alice, and can see why Kate is so conflicted. Kate did nothing to save Beth before, and “isn’t about to do nothing again.” She gives Beth Mary’s life-saving blood and Luke ushers her to safety on the Bat Bike.

Kate goes to be with Alice to say goodbye. They lay together on the floor. Alice begs her not to leave, breathing heavily. Beth arrives at her secret motel (which is safer than the Bat Cave how??). I don’t know how, but both Sophie and Mouse’s dad know where they are. Sophie doesn’t take the kill shot, but Mr. Mouse does. And with that, Alice springs back to life. $%*#!

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