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“Carmilla” recap (2.33 & 2.34): It’s the day of the siege, y’all

I can’t believe there’s only one week left of Carmilla! This season has been so much richer and exciting than I could have hoped for. Before I started writing these recaps, I was thinking how the heck am I going to make a meaningful recap out of two five minute episodes a week? Yet these recaps have turned out to be some of work I’m most proud of. Carmilla has been a special joy to cover this season, and I can’t wait to find out what’s in store for us with the finale next week!

OK, so when we were last at Silas, Carmilla was on a rampage, Vordenberg set his sights on the Scoobies, Perry reappeared and Laura called the school to arms. We rejoin Laura as she continues her mission, this time with Danny, LaF, J.P, Kirsch and Perry by her side. Vordy interrupts to issue threats, chastise Theo over the loudspeaker and threaten to blow Carmilla to bits with his blunderbuss. (It’s basically a short, ugly rifle.) Now Vordy can barely blow his own nose, let alone a rifle, so I’m not too worried about Carmilla at the moment.

Laura laments that they still don’t have a good plan, and Kirsch unwisely suggests they go the Butch Cassidy and Sundance way, which, contrary to popular belief, was not one of homoerotic triumph. They got shot, like a lot. Danny points out that they are grossly outnumbered, and Perry weirdly suggests they team up with Corvae. Nope. Perry does mention the charter and Laura wonders if destroying it could severe the link to Vordy’s power.

Just then, Mel and Theo pop up on chat and admit they are working for a madman. They want to help the Scoobies, but there’s not a lot of trust there on either side.

Theo and Mel reveal that there are 500 students holed up in the catacombs (which every college has, natch) and the only leaders they will follow are Danny and Laura. They promise to sneak her Danny their to lead the troops. Danny decides it’s a risk worth taking, even as Laura protests. Then, Danny does it. She full on admits that she’s ready to die for Laura. Not like Demi Lovato “Cool for the Summer”-dying, but Jack from Titanic dying. Even if you aren’t a Hollence shipper, you have to admit that’s noble AF.

There’s no time to lesbian process this shit, because Theo gives the sign and Danny is off to save Silas.

The next episode is a goodbye, of sorts. Laura, not knowing if she will make it out alive, has some things to get off her chest, so she does a live broadcast hoping to reach Carmilla. Laura has grown a lot recently, and that self-awareness is painful to carry around with her. She messed up, and she knows Carmilla may never forgive her, but she has to try. She asks Carmilla to help, because without her, they barely have a shot in hell. It’s a lot to ask someone that you betrayed, but Laura is a fighter above all. Fighters don’t give up, even if that means admitting they everything they thought they were was just a façade. A real fighter can admit defeat for the smaller battles if it means triumph in the end. So, she asks and Carmilla responds from the basement of the library.

Laura tries to open with some fish blood drinkin’ small-talk but Carmilla is cold as ice. God, Skyping with your ex can be so awkward. Carmilla is unmoved by Laura’s pleas, even calling her a “lunatic” which, OK, who hasn’t said about their ex, amiright? Carmilla is appalled that Laura wants her to be her hero once again, after Carmilla so clearly stated that she’s not playing that game anymore. Laura suggests that this idea of hero is too narrow. That maybe she could be Carmilla’s hero, and vice versa. They could save each other and the students of Silas together.

Carmilla paints a bleaker picture, where evil reigns and shippers don’t get their happy ending. Frankly, it’s dreadful. Carmilla signs out with out a goodbye, leaving Laura to blink back the tears and head out to face Vordy’s army without Carmilla by her side. Perry pops in to tell Laura it’s now or never. Laura leaves just as Carmilla pops back up saying she will help. The only person who sees the message is Perry, who struts over to the computer in a most un-Perry like way and stares Carmilla down. Then it becomes most definitely clear that the Dean has been posing as Perry for weeks, manipulating things from the inside. We have way worse things to worry about other than Vordernberg. The Dean is back.

Well, damn it all if that wasn’t a great week of episodes! With only two left, and so much to wrap up, I’m on the edge of my seat. Speaking of the finale, I’m so excited to be hosting the Carmilla finale event in Toronto next Thursday. I can’t wait to meet those Creampuffs in attendance, and I want to thank you so much for all your kind tweets and messages about it. Until next week!

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