It’s true that lesbianism is not a choice, and one cannot simply “become” a lesbian, but it is hilarious that Barbara Walters advised Sherri Shepherd to do exactly that — at her bridal shower!
Past and present hosts of The View recently remembered its creator, and first female co-host of the Today show, Barbara Walters, who passed away at 93 on December 30. Publicist Cindi Berger confirmed the death but did not provide a cause.
Sherri Shepherd recalled Walters criticizing her taste in men, joking that she needed to be a lesbian instead. Sure, the homophobic idea that women can “choose” lesbianism, or that we become this way due to misogynistic trauma–when straight women deal with the same violence without “turning”–is not okay, but Walters’ wish was for Shepherd to stop picking the worst kinds of men. Even if it meant manifesting her homosexuality.
Plus, Walters was from a different generation, where mouthing “lesbian,” especially as something positive, often incited pearl-clutching disgust.
Shepherd explained how she and Walters would have dinners off-set and–as she was known to do–Walters would provide some brutal advice. The pair were especially close; Walters even planned Shepherd’s bridal shower. However, at that shower, Walters shared her opinion on Shepherd’s taste in men.
“She said, ‘You always get with these men who take your money! All the time! Stop getting married to men that take your money. You need to be a lesbian,’” Shepherd recalled. “‘But with your luck, they’d take your money, too.’”
Unsurprisingly, being one of the first mainstream female journalists, Walters was known to be unguardedly transparent, at all costs. You would have to be made of crazy willpower and unwavering confidence, as a female, to battle for your spot in a male-dominated field at the time in history that Walters did.
On the episode of The View that was dedicated to remembering Walters, Shepherd was joined by other current and former hosts, including Meredith Viera, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Star Jones. They dubbed Walters the “TV mom,” with current host Joy Behar declaring her “the original role model.”
Nobody is perfect. We too often categorize people as “good” or “bad” in the 2020s, without nuance. Walters had her fair share of controversy. But canonizing her as a great feminist influence is possible because we should never throw the baby out with the bathwater. Having a journalist career span 60 years means you are going to say and do things in the past that you would not today. People change with the times. Especially journalists, who should be concerned with the truth.
“She had no mentors or role models, because she was the original role model for everybody else,” Behar said. “So we have to give the woman a lot of credit. She was not just a friend to us, but she was really one of a kind and very important to the industry.”
