Morning Brew: “Pretty Little Liars” returns to TV, “All My Children” returns to the internet, Hillary Clinton returns to work

Good morning, Brewbies! I can’t believe I finally get to say the thing I’m about to say: Pretty Little Liars is back tonight, bitches!

There’s an all-day marathon on ABC Family if you need to catch-up before tonight’s winter premiere. And, as always, we’ll be live-tweeting the show with the hashtag #BooRadleyVanCullen!

If you work for the Pentagon and/or the Department of Defense, there’s a good chance you’re not reading this post — or any post on any website about any gay thing, actually. Think Progress is reporting that the Pentagon’s specialized filtration software blocks sites flagged at “LGBT.” That includes such sexually explicit content as, oh, The Trevor Project, Pam’s House Blend, and The Human Rights Campaign. However, if you want to peruse anti-gay websites like The National Organization for Marriage or RedState or Glenn Beck’s own personal blog, that’s totally OK.

Ah well, at least Our Lady of Perfection Hillary Clinton is back at work at the State Department after her very serious blood clot scare. To welcome her back, they presented her with a football helmet to keep her brain and head safe from disaster.

Photo: State Department/Getty

In yesterday’s Brew I mentioned that Danielle and Karen from The Bold and the Beautiful are the only lesbian characters on daytime TV. It must have sounded like a prayer to the Sapphic TV Gods because three hours later, Prospect Park production company announced that it will be resuscitating All My Children. Sure, they’re reviving it online, but who watches TV on actual TVs anymore anyway? Filming will begin again in February, and with any luck, Marissa and Bianca will be among the chosen ones to return to Pine Valley. Long live Minx!

Two-time gold medal coach and openly gay lady Pia Sundhage was named FIFA Coach of the Year yesterday. As was her custom when coaching the U.S. National Team — before she returned to coach in her native Sweden (*sniffle*) — Sundhage broke into song at the awards ceremony, singing Bob Dylan’s “If Not For You” to her players and coaching staff.

Oh, and Abby Wambach won FIFA’s Women’s World Player of the Year.

Amber Heard has signed on to a new project enigmatically named Untitled Kevin Costner Thriller. What The Wrap says about the project:

The film is currently filming in Paris and will continue in Serbia, where it is scheduled to wrap production in April. The darkly comedic plot centers on a secret service agent who’s agreed to return from retirement for one last mission — in exchange for access to an experimental drug that could save his life.

What I hear about the project:

Blah blah blah Amber Heard is an internationally renowned badass secret service agent who also has a wicked sense of humor blah blah blah Costner blah blah blah.

Sounds delightful!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that AfterEllen readers love them some Scottish lesbians. (See: Helen Stewart, DS Sam Murray, Professor McGonagall.) (Just kidding about that third one.) (Kind of.) So I am pleased to inform you that the Scottish soap River City is moving full steam ahead with the lesbian storyline they introduced in November between Alice and Christina. I was finally able to catch up with the show yesterday, and I’m amazed at how much canoodling and processing and full-blown doing it these two have been allowed to participate in. There is no distinction between the screen time and PDA of the teenage lesbians and the long standing straight couples. It’s remarkable! And you can watch it all at!

Sometimes when I talk about Lost Girl in real life, my friends are like, “OK, but Anna Silk can’t literally be perfect.” To which I now say: Ha! Hahaha! Of course she is perfect. She’s so perfect she’s got a baby in her belly whom she’s already named Ninja!

Photo: Jeff Vespa/Getty

My girlfriend and I rewatched Freaks and Geeks over Christmas break and if that hadn’t cemented my eternal affection for Busy Philipps, her recent interview in The Advocate would have done the trick for sure. In addition to saying she fights for marriage equality because she is “a decent human being,” and telling a hilarious story about her four-year-old daughter boycotting Chik-fil-A, she also addressed all those lesbian rumors about her and Michelle Williams:

Honestly, this is the first I’m hearing it! I get why people would say that about us, though. It does seem plausible. It’s like Oprah and Gayle or Dolly Parton and her best friend. I believe sexuality is fluid, and women can have a deep love and affection for other women. My friendship with Michelle has stood the test of time, and we’ve been together through many different versions of our lives. I love her as deeply as I love almost anyone. But we don’t do it.

Today in lesbian-ish TV: The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Talking Liberally with Stephanie Miller (Current 9 a.m.), Rescue Renovation “Parris-Bacon Kitchen” (DIY 10:30 a.m.), Pretty Little Liars marathon (ABC Family 11 a.m.), The Burn with Jeff Ross (Comedy Central 12 p.m.) – With Mary Lynn Rajskub, The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS 1:30 p.m.), The Talk (CBS 2 p.m.) – Guest: Susan Feniger, Classic Tennis – Navratilova vs. Evert, 1988 Australian Open Semifinals (ESPN Classic 3 p.m.), Jane Velez-Mitchell (HLN 7 p.m.), The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Starz Cinema 7:20 p.m.), Pretty Little Liars “She’s Better Now” (ABC Family 8 p.m., 10 p.m.), The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC 9 p.m.), Go On “Win at All Costas” (NBC 9 p.m.), Emily Owens, M.D. “Emily and…the Love of Larping” (CW 9 p.m.)

Just a friendly reminder to follow Trish Bendix (@TrishBendix) on Twitter for up-to-the-second lesbo news from TCA!