10 Reasons Butches Are Hot

Butches are hot. There’s something about them. At least ten things as far as I’m concerned. And, no, these don’t apply to every single butch. They couldn’t. And shouldn’t really. Every woman has the right to be the woman she is without anyone telling her otherwise. These are personal, and they’re generalizations, and I could find you a zillion femmes who would agree with me. There’s just something magical about the butch woman, and it doesn’t matter how butch, from leaning soft to stone cold. So, in honor of women who embrace their individual butch selves, here are ten reasons why I think butches are so hot. 

Reclaiming the “male” aesthetic 

There’s something unmistakably hot about women usurping what men somehow think belongs to them. The look. The walk. The hair. The swagger. The strength. All of it. Here’s the thing. There are men and there are women. That’s biology. But there are zero rules about what it means to be a woman, and there is nothing hotter than a woman who lives in her own power regardless of other people’s requirements or expectations.

No fucks to give

In order to reclaim what men have made their own, you have to be pretty much of the “give no fucks, take no prisoners” ilk. I love that about butch women. They are themselves without apology because they have nothing to apologize for. They have likely lived a lifetime of people judging them and questioning their looks and interests and behavior and still, they have sallied forth. That is hot.


Butches tend to be incredibly chivalrous. I am a Feminist. A staunch Feminist. For me, that means I am fully capable of opening my own damn door, but it’s my prerogative if I would rather have you open it for me. And I would. I am a Feminist. But I am not immune to socialization. I have spent many years living in the South. I think you should open the door for me not because I can’t but because it gives you the opportunity to show me the respect that I as a woman have a right to and so often do not get. Butches get that.

All the best part of what is considered male without the male parts

Butches are butch but don’t have what I consider unwanted and unnecessary equipment. I love me a sex toy. But the male member is of no interest to me. I do, however, love a woman who is broader and taller and stronger than me. One who eschews dresses and all things stereotypically girly. I think it’s hot that they can have all of that “male” energy and yet be packing the parts that I do want to tangle with.

The hair

We have to talk about the hair. Short hair on women, little English schoolboy cuts or fades or Wall Street cuts. Nothing is hotter to me than a woman who has just enough hair at the back of her neck for grabbing and pulling and… Sorry. I got distracted. Butch women’s haircuts say to me, “I know I look good and I know you know it too.” It’s just another factor in the whole confidence, swagger thing. It’s hot.

The clothes

There’s something so hot about knowing what’s under those clothes that don’t give away what’s under those clothes. And I don’t mean in a Fundamentalist Christian or an Amish way. I mean a button down and jeans or cords and loafers or wingtips or drivers kind of way. They look all butch and buttoned down. But take those buttons down and there are all the parts that are what I love about loving women. The contradiction and surprise of the female body underneath the butch wardrobe is mind-melting for me.

The energy

There is masculine energy, and there is feminine energy. Argue with me if you like. I couldn’t care less. I know what I can feel in the air. It’s not just strength or power or even swag. I know plenty of femme women who have all of that. Hell, I like to think I have all of that. It’s that thing, that it –  that aura that you can’t quite pin down. I know it when I feel it and it makes my breath catch in my throat. And when a hot butch woman has it, it puts a femme like me over the edge.

Watching her mow the lawn

Butch girls tend to do butch things. And seeing a girl doing things that too many men think they can’t or shouldn’t do is ridiculously hot to me. Watching my wife power wash or ride the mower or captain our boat makes me crazy. Again, it’s the “Oh you don’t think women should do this stuff? Watch me,” attitude that makes me woozy.

The ability to make people reassess conformity

I imagine it can be bothersome to be called “sir” when you’re a woman. But I hope any butch women reading this will hear me when I say, “Take it as a compliment.” It means that your energy and swagger and power and “it” factor packed into those hot as hell butch clothes have made them do a double take. To me, it means they have to reassess their definition of woman. Being a woman is not about putting on certain kinds of clothes or taking certain jobs or having certain outside interests. The dress does not make the woman. The biology does. So you wear those button downs and you take that C suite job and you chop that wood. And when you render people confused, consider it a compliment. You made them reassess conformity.

The throw down

Butches tend to be tops. And while I am not a pillow princess (I did write the book on facilitating the ultimate orgasm after all…” I do like a woman to overpower me, to climb on top of me, to make me feel like the sexy little nymph I like to imagine myself as. Butches are hot because not only do they know what they’re doing in bed, but also because they know they know what they’re doing in bed. They love the female body and having sex with women and they are not ashamed. Why would they be?