All the lesbians went to Dinah Shore and all I got was this stupid T-shirt

by Dorothy Snarker

The lesbian equivalent of Hieronymus Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights is again upon us. Dinah Shore Weekend, affectionately known as "the Dinah" (which, appropriately, rhymes with … well, uh … sound it out for yourself), brings a sea of lady-loving ladies back to Palm Springs. Be sure to say hi to the AfterEllen gals if you see them. I want to hear all about your newest writer crushes when you get back.

Still, while it might seem that every lesbian worth her tankini and board shorts is lounging poolside sipping banana daiquiris at the annual bacchanalia, believe it or not, a few of us couldn't make it and others among us are conscientious objectors (I can't help it; its my pants. They're cranky).

But just because you won’t be getting down with Sue from Omaha at the White Party, that doesn't mean your weekend has to be a bust. In fact, there are still countless ways to lesbian up this weekend (minus the pool and sunburn). Here are a few suggestions; feel free to add your own.

(Click "read more" for some non-Dinah festivities.)

1) Poker Party: While everyone in Palm Springs is spending money on essentials like sunscreen and glow sticks, why not win some cash from your nearest and dearest? Get the gals together for some Texas Hold 'Em. Or Go Fish. Really, the game doesn’t matter as long as there are cards, beer (or something less alcoholic for you young 'uns) and lots of bluffing.


2) Movie Marathon: Let's face it, the only thing we like to do more than complain about lesbian movies is watch them. I say pick a theme and choose your films appropriately. Want to camp it up? Try But I'm a Cheerleader, D.E.B.S. and Better Than Chocolate. Seeking a foreign affair? Find Antonia's Line, Aimee & Jaguar and Producing Adults. Looking to fall into a well of loneliness? Jump into High Art, Lost and Delirious and The Children's Hour. And finally, have an "I want Angelina Jolie" night (What? That’s a category …). Check out Gia, Foxfire and Girl, Interrupted.

3) Rocky L Word Picture Show: Invite your friends over to relive their favorite L Word moments from seasons past. Come dressed as your favorite character and then reenact key scenes. Dare someone to came as Shane's Hugo Boss ad. Double dog dare them if you have to. Now if only there were a musical episode … Ilene Chaiken, can you hear me?