As Marcellus once said in Hamlet, “something is rotten in the state of Seattle.” This week’s Grey’s Anatomy opens up with Bailey trying to sniff out something unpleasant in Tuck’s room. She’s convinced there is something moldering in there, and in her sleuthing, she’s being overall awful to Ben. She’s mono-focused on the phantom smell and Ben is concerned. Bailey, methinks thou art projecting.
On the hospital’s PEDS floor, Alex pops in late at night to visit a teenage patient. All the kids stuff is really bringing him down, and combined with anxiety about his impending major surgery, the teenager can’t sleep. Alex, being Alex, sits down and plays a few levels of his video game with him. Meredith is also still at the hospital, taking a cat nap on her research project. Stephanie wakes her to let her know that the first 3D printer project is coming along. It’s cause for great excitement and Stephanie runs to gather the other second years to tell them the news. They are all in Richard’s room, where he is holding court and telling them stories about past cases and his storied career. Ross offers to help him down to see all the excitement, but Richard passes. They all take off to see the results of the printing, leaving Richard alone. Well, sort of alone. His wall mate starts giving him shit about his boring stories that she can practically recite by memory at this point.
April, Matthew and a priest walk into a bar. Just kidding, they are all in the priest’s office, awaiting their compatibility test results. (This happens?) Turns out, they are super compatible. High fives all around. When the priest leaves, Matthew expresses concern about an area that they are unequal in. Bless April’s heart, she assumes it’s financial, and suggests a joint checking account. Nope, Matthew is concerned about the fact that he’s going into their wedding night a virgin and thinks perhaps they should remedy that.
Ross brings Cristina a coffee on his way to see Meredith’s new toy. Oh…we are doing that now, Ross? Did you go to the same School of Over Eager Courting that Leah did? He tells Cristina about Meredith’s project and she gets all Cristina about it.
Bailey and Jo are consulting with a patient and his husband. The patient is a food critic who needs to have his esophagus removed, and they will be replacing it with a piece of his intestine. I learn something new every day. The crap jokes ensure! You have to laugh at yourself, otherwise you will get very fucking depressed about the fact that someone is removing your esophagus and replacing it with part of your intestine. Bailey consults Jo outside of the room and tells her to order another enema because she wants that intestine so clean that you can eat off it. Wow, sorry, that was a very bad example.
Arizona and Emma are walking down the hall together, chatting. Emma is interviewing for a possible position at the hospital and Callie will be asking the questions. Emma asks Arizona about Callie, and Arizona tells her that Dr. Torres is amazing, which she can say even though they are exes. Uh oh. The dreaded ex word. To Calzona shippers, it sounded not unlike a canon being fired right next to your head. Callie is walking with Owen, and decides she’s going to use this opportunity to get the scoop on Emma’s feelings about life, love and babies. When all four meet at the hall junction, it’s more than a little awkward.
There’s great excitement over Meredith’s new project, and everyone begins to gather. On the way, Jackson and Derek discuss the awesome, bromantic surgeries they will be tacking that day. Leah interrupts them to ask Jackson about a patient who needs a drain removed. He waves her off, telling her that he will take care of it later, leaving her in the dust. As they all gather, Meredith explains her new project. The man who is showing her the ropes with the printer, has a noticeable eye twitch which piques Derek’s interest. The first 3D printed project is complete, and Meredith triumphantly raises….a plastic fork. Everyone peaces out, because, well, forks. She cries out that it was just a test, and they will soon be creating life saving printed portal veins, waving her fork in the air.
Meredith shows the fork to Richard and he is encouraging. She is concerned that he isn’t walking enough, however. Richard’s wall mate CJ is doing some walking of her own and stops by to call his room a “theatre of boredom.” She offers to share some of her stories with him so he doesn’t have to keep recycling ones from the good old days.
Derek and Jackson chase down Harvey the printer tech, and offer up their services in fixing his twitch. He is understandably wary and perhaps a little offended. To add insult to injury, Derek tosses the man’s donut away so he can have an empty stomach. Watch it Shepherd, you try to take my donut and I’ll stab you with Meredith’s fork.
Alex, king of the unimpressed, teases Meredith about the utensil. They run into Cristina and a noticeable chill rushes in. He asks Meredith what’s up, but she warns him to stay out of it.
Owen is being all chiefy, and moving surgeries around on the big whiteboard while Ben observes. Bailey stops by and gets all upset that she’s been moved from one OR to another. Owen doesn’t get her concern since the rooms are identical, and he welcomes Ben back warmly.
Cristina and Ross are working with a tiny human patient whose little body is rejecting his synthetic heart conduit. Cristina isn’t quite sure how to best tackle the situation other than meds and a wait and see approach and the parents call her and Ross out for not having the answers.
In the most uncomfortable interview ever, Callie is giving Emma the third degree about her resume, among other things. When Callie notices Emma left her old job after only a year, she tries to do some digging. It turns out that Emma and her ex husband worked at the same hospital, and it was just too hard to be in the same space, so she left. Callie gets that more than anyone, first with George and now Arizona. Callie attempts to be professional for about two seconds, but quickly turns the talk personal again.
Will, Alex’s teenage patient, is still slumbering when Alex and Meredith come in. He had an unfortunate run in with a clown in the wee hours (#PedsFloorProblems), but today he’s going in for major surgery. He has a very aggressive form of cancer and Alex and Mer are going in to try and remove most of, if not all of his tumors. While Meredith is confident she can remove all the tumors, Alex is more cautious, comparing the surgery to a challenging level of the video game they were playing. Meredith in turn goes all Lady PacMan. Major fail, Meredith.
In the scrub room, Bailey is suiting up for her intestine/esophagus surgery when she finds out that Ben will be her anesthesiologist. She’s not happy about it at all, and while Ben and Jo talk about the pros and cons of cookie sheets, she has the beginnings of a freak out. It appears her anxiety triggered OCD might be rearing its ugly head.
Derek and Jackson manage to get Harvey to sign on to the twitch surgery, but he’s having cold feet. When they pass Richard’s room, Richard pipes up that the surgery will work, because he trained these fools. Leah once again tries to get Jackson to let her assist his patient, and again he refuses.
April is stressing about Matthew’s proposition so she turns to her new BFF Arizona for advice. Their conversation goes something like this (I’m paraphrasing of course):
April: Oh my heavens, it’s so hard not to have the sexing with Matthew before our wedding. He’s still a virgin, unlike me, who had sex with Jackson and liked it a lot but felt super guilty about it and made everyone miserable. We make out and stuff, and there is dry humping but it’s so hard to put the brakes on. I wish I was good at saying no to temptation like you.Arizona: Hmmm?
April: You know, like when not-intern Leah fell in lesbians with you but you put the kibosh on that right quick.
Arizona: Yeah about that. That is not accurate. I kinda actually turned that shit up to 11.
April: Pardon?
Arizona: Yeah, and the sexing? It’s pretty fantastic actually.
April: *shocked expression*
Arizona: Yeah I was surprised too, but the girl has some skills.
April: I can’t with you right now.
The trouble with 3D printers is that they take a long ass time to print. Stephanie, Leah and Ross inspect the progress of the liver model and at the mo, it just looks like an amalgamous blob.
Back in inappropriate land, Callie is drilling Emma. It’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds. She asks Emma if she wants kids, which Emma is preeeeeetty sure you can’t legally ask someone in an interview. She does answer her however. Yes, she wants babies. Very likely, Owen-shaped babies. Owen bursts in to check on them and Callie gives him a thumbs up. Operation Break Emma’s Boundaries is a success. (Side note: Did anyone else think that there was some eye fucking going on between Callie and Emma? Just me?)
After reading about an experimental trail in Japan using 3D printers to make more viable conduits, Ross runs to Cristina with the news. She’s hesitant at first, but when he agrees to do the ground work, she says she will consider it.
Matthew stops by the hospital to deliver a patient and also talk to April. She tells him that she wants their wedding night to be amazing, and they exchange I love yous. Matthew, being a fairly level-headed chap, knows that because of this, God isn’t going to be too mad about a little pre-wedding boning.
In Bailey’s OR, she’s being very hard on Jo, who’s actually quite good at what she does. She yells at Jo not to accidentally cut the bowel, and in the process, accidentally cuts the patient’s bowel. It’s a mess and Bailey is flailing. Ben steps in like the good guy he is, and manages to talk her down.
Cristina finds her way into the 3D printing room, where Stephanie is standing guard over the printing valve. Cristina starts asking her questions about the process, and what would happen if it were, let’s say, paused. You mean, besides being murdered by Meredith Grey? Well, it would set the research project off by a day. Stephanie responds. Cristina sneaks back out, her sneaky, sneaky questions answered.
While Derek and Jackson are mid-twitch surgery, Leah pops in to let Jackson know that a patient with a facial laceration has come in. He tells her to have the patient wait for an hour until he’s done, and sends her off. Derek defends Leah’s skills (just ask Arizona) and questions Jackson’s tight grip on his patients. Jackson flat out tells Derek that he’s better than all of them, so why let them do a less than Avery job on it. Derek then reminds Jackson of the way Mark Sloan used to talk to him, calling him names and undermining his skills. It’s a teaching hospital, and no one will learn if they have no experience. Jackson agrees to let up a little. Also, you just can’t leave people with overflowing drains and face chunks flapping in the wind, Jackson.
As tempted as Cristina is to try the technique Ross suggested, she tells him that they can’t do it. He presses her, saying that the biological conduit is the best option the baby has. Cristina reminds him that the printer is Meredith’s and not theirs, so it’s off.
CJ continues to mess with Richard about his boring stories, and decides to give him a recipe for meatballs instead. When he expresses his dissatisfaction with her, an off-screen CJ goes silent, and there is a crashing sound. Richard, worried about her, pulls himself out of bed and into the hallway. There he sees her, lying facedown on the floor. His medical instincts and adrenaline kick in and he runs to her. As he assess her vitals, April runs to help as well. He falls right back into step and with that, the Richard Webber we love is finally back!
Emma’s exhausting interview is finally finishes and she talks it over with Arizona. Emma assumes that Arizona and Callie were divorced, but Arizona is quick to correct her. When Emma asks, “You are seeing other people though?”, it dawns on Arizona that perhaps she’s not the only one who has moved on to someone new. Even when you are the heartbreaker, your own heart is never prepared for the thought that the one you love is moving on. Arizona tries to hide her sadness when Emma continues, explaining that the questions in her interview were more intimate than a rectal exam. Arizona understands, because she knows too well that Sloan Grey wraps itself around you and squeezes out all your secret emotions. The hospital motto is, “Feels, go fuck yourself.”
Bailey for the time being, seems to have come down from her panic attack, and shows Jo how to close up the patient. They do a test to make sure the incision is secure, but even after the affirmative results, Bailey orders another. Ben goes along with it, and performs a bubble test. Even though there is no evidence of bubbles, Bailey swears she sees one. She goes back in to check her work.
After performing the successful surgery on Harvey the Twitch guy, Jackson tells Leah to go ahead and have at a few patients. She’s very excited and promises not to let him down. So far, what we’ve learned about Leah is there are two things she’s passionate about: Arizona Robbins and performing procedures.
April checks on Richard who is back in bed, exhausted but also exhilarated by the day’s events. He finally feels like his old self. He admits that he lost himself for a while, but is finding his way back. His confession strikes a chord in April.
Alex and Meredith have been hard at work, removing the tumors from their teenage patient. A large tumor in the middle of the liver poses an challenge for the doctors. Meredith wants to go with the aggressive approach, but Alex is worried it will cause too much damage to the kid’s liver. When Stephanie pops by to show Meredith the printer progress, Meredith asks her to scrub in. Alex and Meredith continue to argue and Stephanie suggests the two-surgeon challenge rule that Richard had recently told her about. Both doctors challenge each other, and with Stephanie’s deciding vote, she sides with Alex. Meredith storms off, leaving Stephanie to wonder if she’s lost her chance to work on Mer’s research.
An excited Owen meets up with Emma on her way out, and she tells him there is no way she could work at Sloan Grey. He is loved there, and she’d always feel like an interloper. Plus if they ever broke up, she’d be frozen out. She’s already done that once and she’s not eager to do it again. Then they exchange some words about not breaking each other’s hearts, which is the Shondaland equivalent of standing in a field during an electrical storm, holding a metal pipe. Heart breaking, commence.
Will, the teenager is awake when Alex explains that the surgery was not a complete success. He’s going to spend more time in the hospital, so a guilt-ridden Alex promises to make his experience less PEDs like in the future. When Alex leaves, Meredith is waiting to pounce on him. They argue about the surgery and Meredith insists that she could have gotten the tumor. When Cristina butts in to ask to use the printer, all hell breaks lose. Meredith refuses, and when Cristina tries to say that the printer actually belongs to the hospital, Meredith tells her to submit a proposal. When Alex realizes that Meredith’s sudden need to prove herself and throw her weight around has everything to do with Cristina’s undermining, he lashes out and tells her that she was a lousy doctor that day.
At Matthew’s apartment, he’s busy getting it virginity-losing ready when April knocks. Instead of taking his cherry, she takes his hand instead. She explains that she lost herself the year prior, and that her loss of commitment to her faith matters. She regrets it, and she doesn’t want Matthew to do the same. She knows what it feels like to break a promise, and they agree to wait until their wedding night. Then they make out, and perhaps go to second base.
Arizona is in her hotel bathroom, when Leah opens the shower door behind her and invites her in. It’s the ultimate punch to the feels, because it brings back memories of the time that Lexi walked in on Callie and Arizona, rub a dub dubbing. Arizona says she’s coming, and takes a long hard look at her own reflection. She touches her necklace. The necklace. You know, the one that matches Callie’s. The necklace that symbolizes their commitment and connection to one another? She reaches around and takes it off, placing it gently on the bathroom counter, then slips off her robe and joins Leah in the shower. Her necklace, her ring, the fact that she and Callie aren’t divorced. Arizona has been holding onto these things as a way to hold on to her marriage. In finally taking off the necklace, Arizona realizes that maybe it’s time to let go.
Ben and Bailey sit down together in Tuck’s room. Bailey did find the source of the smell, (rotten apple slices) but Ben knows it’s not about that. He went and changed their life plan without even telling his wife, and Bailey is not handling it well. He’s noticed the rituals and repetitive gestures, and suggests that perhaps she needs some help. Bailey being Bailey doesn’t admit defeat easily, and swears that all will be fine.
At the end of the day, Meredith finally sees Derek and he gives her the husbandly boost she needs. He tells her about Harvey, and Meredith decides she’s going to miss his twitching. He encourages her to go and check on the progress of her project, which she does with a big smile. That smile soon vanishes when she walks in to find her half printed liver cast to the side, and Team Shark, printing their own conduit.
Back at Bailey’s, she finds herself finally alone and the harsh reality of her situation is apparent, as Bailey obsessively counts and mumbles to herself.
Here are our favorite #GreysGays tweets from “Two Against One.”
So now that you call her your ex, that means that I can start to make a move on your wife Arizona #GreysGays– willy92 (@willy92) November 8, 2013
Whatever they are doing to Bailey is not something I am comfortable with. Back away, Shonda. #greysgays – dufrau (@dufrau) November 8, 2013
“I have to go away from you now” Kepner to Arizona. Yeah, lots of us feel that way… #GreysGays – Elyima (@elyima) November 8, 2013
Originally I thought C would see A kiss L. Now I think A sees Emma kiss Callie. #GreysGays – Jenrind (@Calzonafan2013) November 8, 2013
Wonderland was more interesting than this episode #greysgays – Catherine Meushaw (@CMeushaw) November 8, 2013
I was kind of hoping that instead of April on the other side of that door it would be some guy who looks like Jesus #greysanatomy #greysgays – Marcie K (@geosooner) November 8, 2013
This week on Greys: Pointless, pointless, rehash, NOPE, pointless, this again, seriously just nope, STAHP IT. #greysgays – dufrau (@dufrau) November 8, 2013
My favorite part of Grey’s this week was when Owen’s GF said she didn’t want to work for the hospital because FUCK THIS SHIT. #GreysGays– Brooker (@McBrooker) November 8, 2013
Starting #GreysAnatomy because I already had a lot of Feelings. #greysgays– Kitty (@SmartLittleLiar) November 8, 2013
