Lesbian movies in three lines or less

Have you ever walked out of a movie and thought, “Damn, I can sum that whole thing up in three lines or less”? Well, so did those clever bookish types at McSwenney’s. They recently summed up famous films in three lines of dialogue or less. The results for classics like Citizen Kane, The Philadelphia Story and The Godfather was inspired. That, of course, got me thinking about all the terrible great lesbian films out there.

So, without further ado, here is a sampling of lesbian movies in three lines or less:

Lost and Delirious


Paulie: But I love you.

Tori: But I can’t be gay.

Paulie: Why do I suddenly feel like singing “I Believe I Can Fly?”

But I’m a Cheerleader

Megan: 2-4-6-8! Being straight is really great!

Graham: Gimme a G! Gimme an A! Gimme a Y! What’s that spell? Gay! Gay! Gay!

Megan: I like your cheer better. Let’s make out.

High Art

Syd: You’re a photographer? I work for a photography magazine. Hey, why are you so skinny?

Lucy: Heroin. So, can I take your picture?

Syd: This is going to end badly.

Imagine Me & You

Rachel: I love my new husband. Whoa, check out the florist.

Luce: Hi, I sell flowers.

Heck: I’m screwed.

Bar Girls

Loretta: Can a lesbian movie be so bad it turns you straight?

Rachel: Yes.

Go Fish

Entire Cast: We need acting lessons.

Now it’s your turn. Hit me with your worst best lesbian movies in three lines or less.