The previous recap can be found here, if you want to prepare refresh yourself for the final recap of the season! And, once again, with a phrase I always love to use: Lez go!
Honestly, Shane shagging the wedding planner in the bathroom is truly the only way I would want Tina and Bette’s wedding episode to open (unless Carmen came back, then I would take that opening option but yeah.) So here we are, O.G. Sapphics: Tibette nuptials.
Alice got the wedding cake but forgot the booze was also her responsibility, whoops! It’s okay, though, because Shane owns a bar so all’s well that ends well. Booze is delayed but forthcoming.
Finley feels loyal to Tess in the break-up friend inheritance. I think she’s just really fixated on trying to caretake others to heal her inner kid who wasn’t given that when she needed it most. Tess is still a hot mess, if that wasn’t obvious, but no one knows Tess is back on the booze
Oh DANG, Dani is looking like a smokeshow for the wedding. Yes, I have my favorites and so do you so back off. We like what we like.
Ever the problem solver, Bette takes Tina to the walk in cooler after Tina has a hot flash. Great idea, right? It is until the interior handle breaks off and the lovebirds are stuck in the giant refrigerator. Cool, cool.
But wait, they invited Pippa to the wedding? NO WAY. This is interesting.
Micah and Mirabel’s donor sperm arrives via frozen vial. Are they really ready for this step together, though? I’m not convinced.
Tess and Shane see each other at the wedding. I’m assuming it’s been a hot minute since they’ve crossed paths. There is flirting involved (gross.) Raging alcoholic Tess decides doing cocaine with another wedding guest is the way to handle this situation. Everyone in the fandom is so quick to judge Shane’s shortcomings and label her the fucked up one but why does Tess generally get a pass? Oh right, because the actor playing Tess is trans.
Alice and Shane discover Bette and Tina in the cooler, but there is no rescue as the exterior handle now breaks off. The fire department says they can’t assist for hours due to a current fire fighting effort.
Roxy is in town as Dani’s plus one. To make the day a little extra spicy, Roxy brings molly to the wedding and offers one to Dani. She’s never tried it before, but her friend and former boss’s wedding is as good a time as any, right? Homegirl is HIGH. She leaves a voicemail for Dre declaring her love while caressing flowers with her face. She grooves on the dance floor to the mellow pre-wedding music playing for background ambiance. Uninhibited Dani is fun.
Pippa is into Sophie and the feeling is mutual. They steal the just married cart for a little privacy. Everyone is just waiting around for the lovebirds to be freed from the cooler, so they might as well go on a little adventure. They’re about to kiss but then they don’t. The sparks are flying though and I don’t dislike this match up.
Angie gets fucked over by her teacher again. Literally, no surprise there. Your moms were right, little girl. “Don’t say I told you so,” she requests. Laugh out loud, yeah?
We find out that Gigi and Nat are engaged through another wedding guest. I still can’t believe Gigi did Dani so dirty.
Dani is spinning out a bit from the Gigi news, and it’s amplified by the molly. The spin out spirals right side up, as Roxy and Dani finally, “go there.” Awwwwww — they’re doing it! This is the kind of love and devotion Dani deserves: her best friend who loves her. Roxy even moved back to the U.S. specifically because Dani called and said she needed her, and she didn’t make a big deal about it either. Roxy is just going to nonchalantly take care of her woman. I love to see this kind of lesbian love.
Micah finally realizes that Mirabel does whatever the fuck she wants all the time. Micah isn’t feeling seen or heard and is not feeling comfortable or okay with that. This confrontation involves Mirabel breaking the vial of sperm they paid $700 for, but better that than a baby their relationship is not ready for.
After Tina encourages Bette to let her hot, ragey side back out, Tasha is called to the scene to rescue the brides. Bette and Tina are successfully busted out of the cooler and rush off to get ready to wed (ahhhh!) Tasha is still pissed that Alice was so saucy and ungrateful when Tasha rescued her kitten. They rehash a little about why they didn’t work out which seems productive and like they’re both getting past their own defenses.
You’re lying to me if you’re a real The L Word fan and you said you didn’t tear up watching Tina and Bette walk out holding hands in semi-matching suits.
In a truly ironic commentary on men pretending to be women in women’s spaces, Tess ruins the wedding by severely interrupting Bette and Tina’s trip down the aisle. Tess screams at Shane and then smashes their wedding cake. Ummm, rude is an understatement. Tess takes off with the cocaine guy despite Finley’s pleas.
Alice apologizes to Tasha, for everything. They share a teary eyed heartfelt moment. Alice asks Tasha to stay at the wedding for one dance with her. Tasha accepts the invite.
And it is finally wedding time, bring on the Tibette vows. Tina tells Bette, “I can’t believe we finally did this.” Bette beams as she replies, “It was worth the wait.”
Dre shows up at the wedding to meet her, as far as she knows, girlfriend. Imagine how stunned she looks seeing Dani kissing Roxy and imagine that looks of shock amplified on Dani’s face who was perhaps too high to realize the predicament she just put herself into.
