“Degrassi: Showdown” Week 2 recap: “Got Your Money” and “Say It Ain’t So”

Just as I was bracing myself for a clichéd plotline for Fiona in this week’s episodes of Degrassi: Showdown, the writers reminded me that they always have a few surprises up their collective sleeves, and none more so than with new character, Dallas.

When we first spot Fiona, she’s arriving back in town excited to see her girlfriend, who, yes, she’s only kissed once, but whose mentioned existence apparently scares away old women whose hair would make them such good lesbians, too.

Fiona, because she also knows how to be a good lesbian, is bemoaning that fact that only sharing two classes (plus a study period) with Imogen will not allow for proper U-Hauling. Obviously a class transfer is in order!

They show up at Fiona’s locker only to find it swarming with jocks.

Mike Dallas, the jock who’s mysteriously staying with the Torres family, immediately sidles up to Fiona to introduce himself.

Dallas: Mike Dallas, and you are?
Fiona: The wrong tree to be barking up… Look, I’m flattered but not interested.
Dallas: Well, I love me a challenge.
Fiona: And I love me girls.

When Dallas refuses to believe that she’s gay because of how attractive she is, Fiona pointedly introduces a very uncomfortable looking Imogen as her girlfriend. He demands a kiss to prove it, and she agrees… if he kisses one of his jock friends first.

Imogen makes a hasty exit from the situation, pleading a busy schedule for the rest of the day, and Dallas comes up behind Fiona, planting a seed of doubt in her mind about Imogen’s level of interest in their relationship.

While Marisol and Fiona, who are apparently now friends, brainstorm activities for the student council, Fiona admits to being upset that Imogen is spending all her time with her new band, Whisperhug.

Marisol, in the only sane statement she has ever uttered, tells Fiona that she is being a “static cling-monster.” Yes! This is the way I will now refer to everyone. Thanks, Marisol!

They decide to throw a dance featuring a performance by Whisperhug as a way of bringing together their activities. Unfortunately, having a successful dance requires the support of the hockey team, and Fiona is tasked with winning over the team captain, Dallas.

Fiona finds Dallas to talk, but when she says she’s there from student council, he responds, “Now I’m the one not interested.” So, in order to get him and the hockey team to back the dance, she agrees to his condition: one dance with him.

When Fiona and Imogen finally get a chance to talk, Imogen reveals that she’s upset Fiona came back from New York with everything decided, from their schedules to their relationship label to how public they should be. “I care about you more than anyone,” Imogen tells Fiona, “but you’re pressuring me.”

“Fine,” Fiona says bitterly. “Pressure’s off. Let me know what you decide.”

As she mopes about at the dance, Dallas calls her out on being a Debbie Downer. Fiona laments that she doesn’t know how Imogen identifies and that it’s all gotten so complicated.

In the week’s second moment of how-come-that-character-suddenly-had-good-advice, Dallas points out to her that if she’s confused, imagine how confused Imogen is right now. He suggests that they just need to talk. Fiona doesn’t want to talk, though; she just wants to be kissing Imogen.

“Now you sound like a guy,” Dallas smirks. “Look, chicks, they like to talk a lot. You survive that, you get to the kissing.” Sounds accurate enough to me. Then he tells her she owes him two dances now.

When Fiona finds Imogen backstage, she asks to talk. “Or you could talk and I could try listening for a change,” she proposes.

So Imogen explains that she wants to be Fiona’s girlfriend, “but it has to be slow, like super slow, and I’m worried that’s not going to be good enough for you.”

“My world is a mess,” Fiona concedes. “I was looking for solid ground with you, but I pushed too hard, so whatever speed you’re on, I can be on, too.” But then, keeping her priorities straight, she pauses to clarify that “super slow” still involves kissing, right?

Imogen allows that she’s more than fine with kissing, just not in front of the jocks. So, of course, they kiss without looking around, and Dallas starts clapping. Never change, Dallas. Oh wait, no, do change, please do.

Fiona asks if he’s there to cash in on the two dances she owes him, but he says he’s good, and then he walks off without another word.

She and Imogen happily run off to rejoin Whisperhug, where Imogen introduces Fiona as her girlfriend, news that the band – which includes Fiona’s kind-of-ex, Adam – accepts with a nonchalant shrug.

Oh, and I hope I’m not the only one who noticed Imogen’s rainbow of wine glasses!

In other gay news, Dave struggled to figure out what acting is when he’s not allowed to just be straight and himself on stage. Luckily, after some solid coaching from Eli, he found it in himself to act gay, and boy, did he ham it up. As hysterical as it was, though, it didn’t quite work for Eli’s vision.

Dave also freaked out when he realized that being one of the leads in Romeo and Jules is making him a target of the jocks’ snickering.

Eli just barely stopped him from tearing down the promotional posters, and instead Dave went over to his girlfriend Ali’s house to have sex, sans condom. Hmm, you wanted to prove you were straight, Dave? Well, have fun with that mess…

Did Fiona’s plotline with Imogen and Dallas surprise you all, too? Between this week and last, are you as confused and intrigued by Dallas as I am?