“The Glee Project” recap: “A very lesbian week.” (Ep. 209)

Off to choreography we go, although Zach is absent this week because he’s working on the actual Glee. Psh. But it’s more than okay because in his place we get his co-choreographer Brooke, a girl with completely rad hair. To be honest, I don’t know how well the contestants do during this section because I can’t stop looking at this girl’s hair. Why is she and her hair not featured in every episode? The things you are keeping from us, Oxygen.

When we get to the recording studio with Nikki, the most notable thing that happens is we finally see Mr. Blake Man be less-than-perfect. As in, he is trying to sing harmony lines and they sound awful. Way awful. And he knows it. Obviously Nikki knows it; she always does. Egads. He eventually gets a not-as-awful recording, and we move on to the video shoot with Erik.

It’s all about Breakfast Club vibes for the video this week, as the set up is the couples rushing off to be super couple-y during detention. So, actually, less angsty philosophical conversations, more making out, but still, Breakfast Club-y. Ali and Blake are still coupled, which everyone else seems bitter about — particularly Lily, who is doing a super awkward “But Blake and I have chemistry and should be together” bit when they clearly don’t have chemistry, which makes me feel bad for her. I think Blake is just one of those blokes who is so naturally nice and genuine to everyone that anyone could think he was in love with them. In your defense, Lily, these people are so tricky in life and I don’t know why they exist. In any case, she is accordingly bummed to be assigned to Michael, who has unfortunately been delegated to this The Dude Who Isn’t Blake role in these last few weeks. Aylin, meanwhile, is still our #1 Fake Lesbian, paired now with Shanna for this go around.

As the shooting starts, for some reason the criticism hones in on Aylin and Shanna right away. The mentors keep saying their relationship isn’t believable, that they’re focusing too much on the dance moves and the acting rather than making it real. To be honest, I’m a little irked by this criticism. Do they see the eyes Aylin and Shanna are giving each other? The accurately giddy shy smiles? They are giving each other some serious eyes and some serious flirty smiles! And they keep touching each other’s faces in a very good face-touching way that may or may not be making me a little excited!

Also, why give them elaborate dance moves and then criticize them for carrying out those dance moves? And aren’t they supposed to be acting? What’s your deal, yo?

In more positive news, Ali has also decided that she wants to get out of her wheelchair for part of this shoot, since everyone else gets to do a sexy-on-the-floor scene, and she wants people in wheelchairs to know that they should get to do the sexy scenes, too. Word, Ali. I know her perkiness can be over the top, but she is kind of rocking these last few weeks. She is seriously working hard and doing good things. You go, girl.

When we view the final version of the video, I actually think all the couples have done a really great job. I imagine that acting out this type of romantic scenario with your fellow competitors, especially at their age and with such amateur acting skills, would be one of the most difficult and awkward tasks to accomplish. But they all seem to carry it out with a great deal of  professionalism. I don’t know if it’s just because everyone’s taking the competition more seriously than ever now, or if it’s just because they’re more decent actors than we may have given them credit for.

Regardless, everything is nice and sweet when they’re all flirting and kissing standing up, but when they sexy-on-the-floor times do happen, MAN, is it sexy-on-the-floor times! I actually said “Whoa” out loud to my screen. But, I mean — whoa! I only had detention once in my life, but it was definitely not like that, and I am retroactively bummed!