“Lost Girl” Recap (3.01): Lock me up and throw away the key

The warden finds Bo’s special stone, though Bo plants a wet one – emphasis on wet – on the warden just in case there’s any residual power. And then poor Bo-Bo gets shellacked by the guards. Though the warden at least knows what’s what. She tells them to spare her face. We all want her pretty.

Lauren finds a battered Bo on the ground and makes that concerned face we all love. But Bo is even more concerned about her and says she is going to have Hale pull her out of the prison for her safety. Lauren of course insists she stay to find out what happened to Dr. Everett. They uncover some weird medical procedures being done on soon-to-be-released prisoners.

Lauren is perplexed her mentor might have been up to no good and Bo assures her that feelings aren’t always black or white, and hers definitely aren’t. A frustrated Lauren echoes the entire Doccubus fandom and says, “Well, just once I wish you could be sure.”

She soon recovers from her moment of brutal honest and confesses, sheepishly, that the skunk ape injections are jacking up her hormones. Bo says she gets it, that Lauren deserves more. Bo says they’re in Dyson’s capable hands now to help with the investigation. Again, never missing a beat, Lauren replies, “You could do better.”

Speaking of Wolf Boy, he’s not as good as Bo thinks apparently because he needs Vex’s help to uncover the prison’s dirty little secret. The prisoners go in but none come out. p.s. This show needs more Vex and more Kenzi.

Speaking of Little Mama, she’s receiving a special package – not like that, ew – from Dyson. She’ll be heading into Hecuba undercover as well. Wolf Boy wants to come but as Kenzi so succinctly puts it, “You know the rule, no wangs allowed.” Face of an angel, voice of a poet, indeed.

The only problem with our little sassy friend Skipper is that she seems to be solidly on Team Dyson. She inquires about his returned love, since she went all Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the Norn and returned his love for Bo to him. Kenzi tells him to hurry up and tell Bo because an “extra hot human with legs to spare” might snap up his girl instead. She’s not wrong about that description.

Despite her unfortunate team alliance, Kenzi gets a pass because she’s willing to show up in the wild Amazonian prison as Bo’s honey bee in her best red neck trucker babe gear – complete with monster truck thong (“Go method or go home”) – to help her. As the tells the flabbergasted guard about being human, “The shorter the lifespan, the deeper the quicksand.”

We’re going to have to pause for a moment to really luxuriate in the magnificence of this scene. The strut. The outfit. The hair. The heels. Kenzi being the Kenziest Kenzi ever, she jokes about Lauren’s lame cover as a doctor and having to cut the crust off of her own bread. Also she itches that “rash” we are sure will make another appearance sometime later in the season. Then our BFFs make out and I can’t say I hate it. I mean, sure, it’s wrong. But hot wrong.

The super smooch was all just to pass Bo a coded contact lens to let her get into the prison’s ridiculously high-tech security system. Once inside, she discovers unopened vials of what the guards were bringing the warden, a creepy prison nursery with observation deck and her former cellmate Sylvie who was supposedly released and is now miraculously with child. Before they can try to escape – because who would notice a giant pregnant lady and prisoner in a bright red jumpsuit – Sylvie’s water breaks.

Bo takes her to Lauren, because Lauren fixes everything. So, naturally in this time of crisis, Lauren starts to take off her pants. Sylvie is a Fae with highly adapted olfactory senses and the skunk ape secretions will make the baby blow up like a party balloon. Hey, whatever it takes to get Dr. Hotpants pantless is fine by me.

Bo protests, she’ll expose herself as human. Lauren says Bo will protect her, she always does. And off come the pants and boom goes our hearts – and other organs. Also, while it hardly seems possible, she’s as hot in dumpy blue scrubs. Hello, abs, please come visit more often.