50 awards “Orphan Black” star Tatiana Maslany should win

The 2014 People’s Choice Award nominees were announced this morning and you’ll be happy to hear that plenty of AfterEllen-approved favorites made the list. Jane Lynch is nominated for Best Comedic TV Actress. Glee, Chicago Fire, The Good Wife, Pretty Little Liars, True Blood, White Collar, Once Upon a Time, American Horror Story, Orange Is the New Black, and The Voice are all nominated for best TV series awards in their individual categories. Rachel and Santana (Glee), Meredith and Cristina (Grey’s), Caroline and Max (2 Broke Girls), and Lily and Robin (How I Met Your Mother) are all nominated for Best Gal Pals. Ellen DeGeneres is nominated for Best Daytime TV Host.

But what I want to talk about is Tatiana Maslany. After being snubbed by the Emmys for her incomparable performances during the first season of Orphan Black, she is nominated for a People’s Choice Award for Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actress. Sure, she also won a Critics’ Choice Television Award and a TCA Award, but that Emmy omission still stings, not only because she deserved that particular golden trophy, but also because she may be the only person on the planet who actually does deserve ALL THE AWARDS. So, before 2014 Awards Season kicks off with bang, let us close out 2013 by contemplating the 50 awards Tatiana Maslany should win.

(Thanks to Valerie Anne and Elaine Atwell for helping me narrow down the categories!)

tumblr_inline_mvi4orqSx51rd9t4lAll GIFs via the official Orphan Black Tumblr

1. The Best Hand-Talker Award

2. The Most Eloquent Queer Theory-Talker Award

3. The Most Heart-Wrenching Angry Face Award

4. The Best Fake Accents Award (Sorry, Bennedict Cumberbatch)


5. The You Wear That Hat Even Better than Santana Lopez Award

6. The Cleanliness is Next to Godliness Award for Being Godlike

7. The Best Face Award

8. The Best Slow-Motion Face Award

9. The We Wish We Could Kiss Your Face Award


10. The Best Jello-Eater Award

11. The Most Delightful Beatboxer Award

12. The Best Acceptance Speech Award

13. The AfterEllen Hot 100 #1 Hottie Award

14. Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actress in a Drama

15. The Best Portrayal of Every Hogwarts House in One Scene Award

16. The Canadians Continue to Do It Better Award for Doing It Better than America

17. The “Oh, shit” Award for Having Us at “Oh, Shit”

18. The Internet Has Never Been More Outraged on Another Person’s Behalf Award

19. The How Is It Possible to Be Cuter than Emily Fields Peeking Around a Corner Award

20. The Best Glasses Award

21. The Awesome LGBT Ally Award


22. The How Can Just Teeth be That Sexy Award

23. The Best AfterEllen Name-Check of 2013 (Even Better than When Naya Rivera Said It on Glee) Award

24. The We Agree Cosima’s the Hottest Clone Award for Agreeing With Us that Cosima is the Hottest Clone

25. The Most Likely to Spot Someone Cosplaying Her Playing Helena Playing Beth Award

26. The Hardest Working Actress in Hollywood Award

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