Ding, dong, the “Bionic Woman” is dead

Stick a fork in her: The
Bionic Woman
is done. What? She’s bionic; she’ll heal fast.
Rumors of the show’s demise persisted for months, but its status
remained in seemingly eternal limbo, thanks to the writers’ strike. While
NBC has yet to officially pronounce the show DOA, last week Bionic

co-executive producer David Eick confirmed the cancellation
to Sci Fi Wire
dashing the hopes of its dozens and dozens of remaining fans.

Now, I realize this news is
probably, well, duh to anyone who watched even a couple of episodes.
The incredible hype surrounding the freshman series fizzled to a barely
audible meh as the season progressed. Eick attributes the failure
to the show never coming together as hoped:

“I just felt that
the process was so frustrating, and the conditions under which we were
making that show never really came to fruition in such a way that I
felt like we could make the show well. The actress (Michelle Ryan)
we found was wonderful. Some of the writing was good.”

Wonderful? Well, her abs were wonderful. And some of
the writing was good? That must mean some was bad. Which, of course,
it was. Bionic Woman had that killer combo of uninspired dialogue, unintelligible
storylines and an underwhelming lead. Also, God, how boring was her
boyfriend? Snore. If he’s a secret agent, than he must be 00Zzzz.

You could count me among some
of the most excited pre-fans as I eagerly awaited its arrival last fall.
Heck, I think I even drooled a little. But once the dream became a reality,
oh, how the wheels came off. Granted, I stuck with it so much longer
than I should have. The potential of Sarah
was that
strong. Still, even I didn’t bother to watch the show’s final pre-strike
(and now, ever) episode. I have only so many hours in my life; why waste
one more?

So the Bionic Woman
has been banished to the dust-bin of failed Next Big Things, where it
joins Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and countless others anointed
before their time. In the end, I’d like to think that Bionic’s
bombing is proof that the despite the deployment of the full force of
a major broadcast network’s promotions, marketing and public-relations
machines, people still would rather watch good things on TV. OK, fine,
even I don’t understand the success of Two and a Half Men.
But the exception proves the rule, right? So, goodbye Bionic Woman.
We’ll always have those one-armed pull-ups.

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