“American Idol”: ’80s night under another name

After last week’s poor choice
of theme on American Idol, I remember thinking to myself, “Self,
it can only get better from here.” I was incredibly mistaken.
It appears as though every theme will eventually repeat itself later
in the season under the guise of a different name: “Songs from
the Lennon/McCartney Songbook” became “Beatles Night,” and now
“’80s Night” has morphed into “Songs from
the Year You Were Born.” Oh, boy. (I can only count down
the days until Dolly Parton is the mentor!)

Ramiele Malubay kicked
things off with a performance of Heart’s “Alone,” prompting the inevitable comparison to Carrie Underwood’s performance
of the same back in Season 4. Who sang it better? You decide.

Ramiele Malubay:



Carrie Underwood:



That was one of my favorite
performances from Carrie, so it’s no contest in my book. I think Heart agrees, too. However, it cannot go
unsaid — Carrie, what was up with your hair?!

Back to this season.
Syesha Mercado
sang “If I Were Your Woman,” and it was definitely
her best performance in the show so far, but I still am not a huge fan.

Next for the ladies was
Brooke White
, and after last week, she had a lot to prove.
The judges didn’t like her arrangement of “Every Breath You Take,”
but I absolutely loved it — even her little misstep at the beginning.



She looks gorgeous, sounds
even better, and plays the piano by ear. Come on, America, your
winner is right here!

The other female frontrunner,
Carly Smithson
, sang “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and sang
it pretty well. Simon thought she looked “uptight and
tense,” but I am going to chalk that up to nerves after being in the
bottom three last week. The main thing I would like to point out
about this performance, though, is that it was very wristcuffy.

(It will catch on, Sarah!)

And while I’m on the subject
of lesbianish accessories, did Paula look like she just finished a Dykes
on Bikes
ride with
those gloves, or what?

The last for the ladies was
everyone’s least favorite country girl,
Kristy Lee Cook
. Unfortunately, even though she was just as
awful as usual, she will be sticking around for another week because
she sang none other than “God Bless the USA.” My initial reaction
was just to laugh at the cheesy performance and kiss her goodbye once
and for all. But then it hit me. No one could possibly get
voted off the same week they sing this song. Simon said it “was
the most clever song choice I have heard in years” and my favorite
blogger, Rickey, had this to say: “Well if
there ever was a song choice that will never get you eliminated on

American Idol, that was it.” That’s the message for future
contestants: When you suck, sing something patriotic.

In that vein, I think the bottom
three will be Syesha Mercado, Ramiele Malubay and Chikezie.
Someone get Chikezie out of there, please.

And don’t forget to watch
the results show tonight at 9 on Fox; Kimberly Locke is performing!