“Weird Loners” recap (1.6): Last Call at the Lezzy Bar!

The next morning, Caryn is all whipped up over her big gay date, and asks Zara to teach her how to be a lesbian. Caryn never had her experimental phase, and she’s ready to get her gay on. When Stosh comes in bragging about his date with April, Zara realizes that Caryn is more interested in competing with Stosh than exploring her Sapphic side.

we4Okay, but I’m gonna need some quinoa, five cats, and a DVD ofBut I’m a Cheerleader”

Zara visits Eric, who is googling…aka gluing google eyes on his sock puppets. (I laughed so hard at this.) She tells Eric to focus on his dart game, and not get distracted by little things like pronouns or penises or anything that would give her game away. 

we5It’s a good old fashioned sex-off!

Stosh and Cary proceed to have a dating montage with April, each trying to one up each other. They flirt, they shop, they make out. Eventually, Stosh books an overnight date with April, and brags about their impending sex. Caryn won’t go down without a fight (or will she?) and calls up April for some girl on girl action. Now it’s a sex competition.

we6 Boom goes the dynamite

Caryn begs Zara for lesbian sex advice, but Zara calls her out for playing with April’s heart and not really caring about her. As she rattles off the ways in which Caryn’s ruse is insulting, Eric swans in with a rodeo shirt, leather wrist cuff, and a chain wallet, picked out for him by Zara. Pot meet kettle.

we7Sashay away

It’s the finals of the dart tournament, and everyone is cheering on Viper and Zara. Caryn is freaking out about sleeping with April when Stosh crashes their date. Our weirdos try to flirt with April, and start dancing all up on her. Their dance sandwich soon turns into a fight, and Stosh and Caryn start making out furiously. A dejected April leaves, only to wind up in the arms of Zara, who apologizes for being a dart nazi. They make out. Even Eric gets lucky with the nerdy girl he’s been flirting with. They’re both in for a rude awakening when they go back to his place.

weird2 weird3

we9Weird Partners

That’s it for season one of Weird Loners! What did you think of the season? Share your feels @chelseaprocrast.