“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (6.11): Gaycation, all I ever wanted

Jane and Maura decide to take in some of the SoCal sights. First up, the Santa Monica Pier. Jane hates on all the flip-flops and drum circles. Speaking of sartorial choices, is it just me or did Jane and Maura buy their slacks–and have them pressed–at the same place? And their matchy-matchy white top-dark blazer look? Lesbian Twin Syndrome, activate!

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Back in Boston, Mama Rizzoli and Korsak are planning a double date away from “the girls.” You know, as long as the show focuses on everyone but Jane and Maura’s so-called dating lives, I am A-OK with it. Bring on the wacky familial romantic subplots. Though, admit it, Mama R and Kiki have better chemistry than any of these other couplings.

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Ron arrives and he is soap star handsome. But, really, was he on a soap? (Answer: He was, on Falcon Crest–as well as a bunch of other shows and movies.) Ron the Silver Fox meets Kiki the Fox Fox and it’s…awkward. Like they already know each other and it’s all kinds of weird awkward. But then they pretend not to know each other. I mean, do you really know people you’ve only bumped into once or twice at the S&M sex dungeon? What? I’m assuming.

Jane and Maura are treating themselves to a night out on the town. Or they would, but Jane’s last credit card is declined. Well, that’s an inauspicious way to start off a date night. I mean, did Jane straighten her hair for nothing? Luckily, Moneybags Maura is there to the rescue.

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Jane then gives Maura her dream club experience–she tells her to put on sunglasses, not talk to anyone and read science journals on her phone. It’s almost the same for me, except I’d be reading lesbian TV recaps.

Also, how cute was Maura’s little “Ow!” after poking her eye while putting on the sunglasses? As cute as her wearing the sunglasses is hot, that’s how cute.

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Jane leaves her hottie girlfriend to her journal and goes to find the club owner. He’s wearing a fishing hook as a necklace pendant, so you know he is a real catch. (Thank you, thank you, I’m here every Thursday.) She tricks him into facilitating a fake drug deal and then pulls out her badge. Though, you could see how the dude was too distracted to realize she was a cop at first. Hello, Det. Jane Rizzoli’s Exposed Midriff.

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The club owner leads them to the drug dealer to the stars who leads Jane to hate L.A. even more than she did before. But he and his Bentley are just another Red Herring. Afterward Jane gets a call from Nina with more bad news. Jane’s whole life has been hacked. And all her accounts have been cancelled. Hey, I watch Mr. Robot, I know this shit can get crazy.