“Once Upon A Time” recap (5.08 & 5.09): Old ships, new ships, Red ships, blue ships

Hi friends! This week was a two-fer, and the first episode was super straight with a dash of SwanQueen to try to keep us from setting our TVs on fire, and the second episode was the best episode since Elsa left. The first was very heavy-handed…her, hooked, so I’m going to try to make it quick, but brevity has never been a skill of mine. So bear with me til we get to the good stuff.

Oh, also, despite what the promos said, this was not a two-hour special. This was just two episodes aired on the same night, because the AMAs are airing next Sunday night. So don’t be fooled. The episodes couldn’t be more disconnected.

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Emma rejoined the sword and the dagger and pranced around Storybrooke acting non-committally evil. We go there now, with David taking the two other men on Team Charming to confront Arthur, presumably because he didn’t want things to go well. David points a gun at him (incorrectly?) and Arthur flips a ping pong table to escape.

The doofuses get themselves into a pickle and Arthur has his sword up, just about to put us all out of our misery and slay the pirate, when the Dark Swan swoops in and saves the day. Arthur is jealous of her big long sword and he scurries away. Hook tries to apologize for being stupid and Emma just rolls her eyes at him and says everything will be over tomorrow.

OUAT 508-1“Seriously though. Shut up.”

Hook doesn’t want to just trust that though so he starts shouting questions at her until finally she snaps and yells that she’s doing everything for him in a voice that sounds like she’s starting to regret that fact and poofs away.

Flash back to three weeks ago in Camelot, where not-yet-dark Emma stares at her little red ember and tries to figure out how to turn it into a flame. She goes into Granny’s to decide what to do, but Merlin interrupts her conversation with Henry and Granny, saying Arthur ordered him to bring the dagger and ember to Arthur or everyone she loves will die. Arthur begs her to just do it, and to not seek vengeance after, lest the dark ruin what is currently a really good hair day.

OUAT 508-2Too good for being outside for so long…must be dark magic.

Present-day Hook tries to get answer for Arthur in the sheriff’s station, but David tells him to back down. Regina laughs at Hook for thinking the Dark Swan is telling him the truth when she said she’s doing everything for him. I mean, surely, this independent woman who recently lost her baby daddy and took an awful lot of begging and convincing to even date the pirate wouldn’t be risking her family just for him. That would be the stupidest thing ever. Regina says that the Dark Swan is going to destroy light magic, and that fact she hasn’t done it yet means she must be missing an ingredient, and if they find it first, they can help bring “our Emma” back.

OUAT 508-3“My Emma.”

Hook would never take advice from a woman, though, so he goes to Gold for help instead. Gold also agrees that it being about Hook sounds very unlikely, so probably Emma did something in Camelot so bad that she had to erase everyone’s memories and is now going on an apology tour of sorts.

Hook runs out into the street, shouting Emma’s name into the night to no avail.

Camelot Emma sits alone, more desperate to turn the ember into a flame to save Regina and the others. RumpleVoice tells her that Arthur will kill her as soon as he forges Excalibur, and she fights with him until Henry comes out. Unfortunately, the kid’s been spending too much time with Hook and David, because his idea of helping is telling Emma that as soon as they get back to Storybrooke, Hook is going to ask her to move in with her. But she realizes the voices in her head are right and she needs to use the darkness one last time.

OUAT 508-4 That’s what all addicts say.

Emma goes to the forest and finds her family tied to trees and Merlin looking at her like the Genie looked at Aladdin when Jafar was his master.