Eva Longoria Parker’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad kiss

Remember a few weeks ago when StuntDouble told us about the hot, sexy lesbian kiss on Desperate Housewives?

No? Oh, that’s right — because it never happened. Well, not the hot, sexy lesbian part.

Despite ABC’s countless teasers about scandal, the kiss amounted to nothing, although faux lesbian song “I Kissed a Girl” turned out to be the perfect soundtrack for the woman/woman inaction. Susan (Teri Hatcher) kissed a girl — two, in fact — and sort of liked it, but not enough to do it again. At least not sober.

That is certainly good news for one of the girls she kissed, Eva Longoria Parker’s Gaby, since Mrs. P didn’t like it one single bit. Hated it, in fact. Last week, Longoria Parker told Brit TV This Morning that she dreaded the whole thing:

I still hate it, it’s really intimate. Even if it is Teri Hatcher, I hate it! It doesn’t matter who, it’s just such a personal invasion, so I find it really difficult.

Poor thing. Just look at the extreme intensity those horrible Housewives producers forced on her.

And just to make sure that nobody misunderstands how much she hate, hate, hated kissing a woman, she spelled it out again this week for FOXNews, “Definitely no more kissing girls.”

Whateva, Eva. Bored now.


UPDATE: I stand by my assertion that Eva should be accountable for what she says. But since some readers think I’ve been unfair, please read the comments for another perspective.