“The Family” recap (1.5): Willa get a Kiss?

No voiceover to start us off this week. It’s 35 years ago, and a boy who will turn out to be Young Hank is running. He gets home and tries to hide his bruises, but Hank’s mom knows about his bullies. She tells him the other boys are jealous because Hank is smarter and one day they’ll be working for him because justice is the way of the world.

Present-day Hank is in a hospital bed as he recovers from the beating he got last week. Meyer wants to know who did it, and he’s all “John Warren, duh.” Meyer has a Moment of Doubt.

Over at the Red Pines Tribune, Bad Reporter is excited about the paternity test she got from the drugstore. She got John Warren’s coffee mug (ew), and Maybe-Adam’s Q-Tip (double ew) and Gus points out that you can’t just steal stuff from people for a story. Bad Reporter says “You say potato; I say investigative journalism.” Yeah, she’s keeping this nickname for a while. Gus says that if she doesn’t have a source, anything she gets is awful hearsay tabloid crap and unusable. Bad reporter. Bad! Not that she gets fired or anything. Neither she nor Gus seems particularly upset about the laws or journalistic ethics she’s trashed, so whatever. Bisexuals aren’t smart about that stuff. Just randomly sneaky!

Ep 5 Pic 1

The TV news is talking about Claire and her candidacy because the nation is consumed with the Maine Governor’s race. She gets in the shower and hears one million loops of commentators talking about her lack of experience.

At breakfast, Willa asks Claire if she’s sleeping OK and oh, yes, Maybe-Adam’s teacher will be there at noon. Too bad, she’ll make him do math, ha, ha! Maybe-Adam hears that and says one reason the bunker was awesome was that there was no math. Willa and Claire try to laugh as they absorb what a fucked-up joke that was to make.

John’s hand has a cut on it! Dun-dun-dun! Adam looks at a postcard from Cape Canaveral with no writing but the address on it. At a mailbox, Craggy Doug sends a different postcard from Kitty Hawk and asks if it’ll go out today. Does he not worry about prints? Or the handwriting on the address? Or the fact that North Carolina does not deserve anybody’s tourist dollars right now? Not even Craggy Doug’s.

Maybe-Adam tells Clements the Bad Man told him he would take him places if Maybe-Adam was a good boy and stopped trying to run. So they made a list of places, and he brought Adam guidebooks from those places. To read in the pitch-dark bunker? Clements says they’ll make a list of those places and heads his list “Catch the Bastard.”

Craggy Doug is taking his pregnant wife on a road trip so he can send a bunch of postcards. Craggy Doug is allllll about the prep work. But he won’t tell his wife where they’re going.

Ten years ago, the family has an ordinary morning squabble about the dishes and a Little League mom who apparently has no access to any form of her local news calls to say she’s looking forward to Adam being on the team and everyone gets all sad.

Back in the present, Meyer confronts John about assaulting Hank with a baseball bat. John denies it but whoopsie, he’s got that hand injury. John says he and Hank just argued at 4:00 in the morning when no one could see them. Meyer tells him to call a lawyer.

Ep 5 Pic 2

Clements wants to know if Meyer thinks John did it. She says he’s angry, and Clements points out that anger makes you do stupid things. Meyer and Clements wonder if anger is making the Bad Man do something stupid, like treat himself to the whole Good Boy list. So where will he go next? (Probably not The Alamo, which is on the list.) Craggy Doug and his wife are at a rest stop. She gets chatty, and he shreds a magazine so that it looks like the boy’s face on the next page is behind bars. Yikes.