“Orange is the New Black” recap (4.6): Puff, Puff, Pass

After popping a few pills, Red has finally gotten some sleep—19 whole hours of it according to Hapakuka. The kitchen runs under Gloria’s supervision while they all wonder if Red is actually dead, though that’s a tale that would travel faster than a cockroach carrying a cigarette. Piper seems to have stashed her panty bag underneath Ruiz’s bunk and my hatred for her grows. 

Taystee holds a civil meeting with Abdullah and Tovah to negotiate the terms of their partnership. The allegory of space being invaded by two people practicing opposing religions shouldn’t be lost here. Also, I would kill to see them all play Monopoly, though Tovah strikes me as a board flipper if she doesn’t get her rent when someone lands on her property. Abdullah makes a fair claim of 25% of the profits since she is the one providing the cell phone. In a true act of God herself, they meet in the middle to discuss the wild nature of Scientology and its shady leader. Never let religion get in the way of friendship, a beautiful flower blooms and this is the greatest thing since Taystee and Poussey. Tupac is totally alive, and he’s heard Frank Ocean’s album—Prince played it for him. 

Cersei-UmbridgeCersei is way more evil than Umbridge

Piscatella isn’t having any of Ruiz’s claims of innocence. She tells him that Piper is the real head of operations on this scheme but of course, he doesn’t believe that for a second. Finally, someone calls out the racist rhetoric the CO’s are operating under, sadly it falls on deaf ears and he adds three to five years to Ruiz’s sentence. Business as usual would’ve sent her down to the SHU, but overcrowding rears its ugly head once more, and the pain gets worse with every strike. 

brexitEveryone should be taking the Brexit seriously!

Like all people with an abundance of money, King makes a few phone calls and handles Luschek’s problem for him. Nicky is coming back! Not too sure how she’s going to feel about this being the reason why if she ever discovers it. Nothing comes without a price, my dear Oedipus. 

Ruiz spots Piper coming out to the yard, and she’s got fire in her eyes. Piper’s gangster shtick is crumbling faster and faster these days; Hapakuka won’t be able to save her. While watching Piper awkwardly stand on the opposite side of the courts, Ruiz reveals to her crew the punishment for being framed. Loyalty drives one of them to go and confront the issue immediately, but Ruiz stops her. The alternative is to dive even deeper into the black market and get into the hard stuff. 

listicleHere are all my DIY Prison Listicles.

Surely Nicky has yet to get word of her future back up in minimum security, and she’s found Stella’s friendly guard to break her drug-free streak. Taystee hands Caputo the forms for her return and the timing couldn’t be worse. Nothing comes without a price. 

Follow me on Twitter at @uhitsveronica and we can talk about queer stuff between recaps. I’ll be back to talk about episode 8. See you then! Remember: No spoilers in the comments.