“Pretty Little Liars” recap (7.4): The Return of Mona and Jenna

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Hanna mowed down Rollins in a moment of righteous justice while Ali fled into the night, hospital gown billowing in the wind like a ghost. We open on the Liars burying his body, while Hanna and Ali sit in shock. Aria suggests going to the cops, but years of RPD fuckery has proved that those dummies can’t be trusted. The Liars concoct a multi-step plan of covering their tracks, which includes Aria taking Ali back to Wellby, so she has an alibi. Hmm, sounds like an Emily job to me. While they squabble over how to break into Wellby, Ali staggers over, sticks her hand in the dirt, and yoinks out Rollins ID badge.

35Ugh, if I have to stick my hand in one more shallow grave I swear to GOD!

The Liars hop into Rollins’ Benz and head back to Rosewood. Emily goes through his phone and finds no emojis or poorly worded threats, and Spencer shoves a wet nap in her face to wipe her fingerprints off it. Finally, it’s Season 7 and these girls are worried about fingerprints! Also, Emily calls Spencer an uptight nerd, which, accurate. Hanna flips out about going to jail (again), and Spencer assures her that they’ve destroyed all the evidence, and everyone who knows about the murder is sitting in the car. Ugh, don’t you dummies know that there is ALWAYS someone watching you? Always. Every time. Never alone.

37I know we just killed someone, but I got a Google alert that Aubrey Plaza is bi!

43Whelp, I am single now. See you bitches in Pawnee!

Back at Spencer’s place, Hanna takes a shower and pulls a piece of bloody glass from her hair, which I can only assume is the writers of this show reaching through our screens and patting us on the head like sweet little puppies. Spencer is cloroxing the floors, making Lady Macbeth allusions, and maintaining her anger at Hanna over the Caleb kiss, which, Spencer PRIORITIES. You just murdered a man and buried him in the woods. NOT the time.