The L Word Season Premiere Recap: Let’s Do It Again

The L Word: Generation Q premiered last night and wow was it an answer to our prayers to Sappho and Diana and Kali and all the rest. Finally, the lesbian community is being blessed with some mainstream representation again! So let’s jump right into our recap!

The new L Word opens in bed with two new characters. It’s hot, full of boobs, and completely out of nowhere. Clearly we’re staying faithful to the original concept and I’m here for it. When our new friends are done eating the pussy like breakfast (with a sweet call out for the wonders of period sex, which I am VERY here for!), we cut to another new character, a very cute androgynous tomboy type whose car won’t start and who forgot her shirt at home. She’s the messy friend!

Cue the obligatory Lizzo track that every single tv show in the last six months includes.

She bikes over to her friend’s house where we find out this bitch has ZERO boundaries!

She just busts into her friend’s bedroom with their roommate in tow so they can spy on the ‘hot guy’ who’s moving in next door. It’s got a lot of parallel imagery to Jenny moving in next door to Bette and Tina’s where their random friend Shane is fucking in their pool.

Next, we reunite with power lesbian Bette who is moving up in the world, running for mayor of Los Angeles. We meet a teenage Angelica, Angie to her moms, although Tina is nowhere in sight.

In the next scene, we see a harried Alice making breakfast (poorly) for somebody’s kids. Is she their stepmom? When their (other) real mom shows up, confusion and passive aggression ensue over which, the ex-wife or the new girlfriend, is supposed to take these kids to school.

Alice is probably missing Tasha right now (I know I am!). The kids take off, Alice’s whole face reveals a lot of classic lesbian codependency symptoms, and that her new gf is a neurotic mess trying to play house and forget she was ever married to this other lady.

OH SHIT IT’S SHANE (cue worldwide lesbian screaming) and she has her own JET and RED CARPET.

Still the same greasy, in-her-eyes scissor cut, same soft butch Don Juanita vibes, as we cut to a flashback or a fantasy, not sure which, of her making all that flight attendant’s dreams come true.

Cut to our new friends, the messy tomboy and the gorgeous lover from the first scene who we still know literally nothing about. They’re riding to set on the job of Alice’s talk show! Alice’s talk show Alice has the ugliest possible logo.

Alice and Shane reunite and we get some juicy foreshadowing of the May-December relationship that is 100% for sure in Tomboy’s future. The way she looks at Shane is the way a whole generation of baby dykes (slack jawed/casually drooling) has looked at her. Because I mean LOOK AT THESE TWO.

Next we stop by for a little brunch with Bette, Shane and Alice. Shane is back in LA after selling her salons in Paris and New York. She hasn’t spoken to…someone… even though she’s back in LA.

Alice is “parenting” and Shane is disappointed to hear she is still stepping on legos. This is not the life we want for Alice.

Tina gives Bette a call to complain about the pressure on Angie.

Cut to Angie who is cutting school to peel out in a luxury car with some cute 16-year-old girl she has a crush on. They’re bumping and smoking weed–wow ya gotta go pretty big on teenage rebellion when your moms are power lesbians running this city!

Bette Porter and her campaign manager discuss making connections in the Latino and Persian communities, which constitute half the city. They head in for a meeting with a powerful Latino lawyer but he’s out of the office. But his daughter, Dani Nunez, is in! It’s the girlfriend from the original sex scene! And thus it’s revealed that all of the Generation Q characters are tied to the original cast characters.

Bette and Dani talk investments. Bette starts to get riled up when Dani dodges questions about her family’s investments in Big Pharma. Bette demands answers about their investment in drug manufacturers of opioids. We know addiction is a personal issue for her, and it sounds like the opioid crisis is going to be a big part of her campaign platform.

In the next scene, Dani’s dad appears with bad news. A business partner and close family friend’s son has OD’d on opioids. The irony! Between his Big Pharma money and the fact that he would NEVER approve of Dani marrying her beautiful girlfriend, Sophie, this guy’s a total dick. Now it’s Dani’s job to shift the blame away from the people who profit off these drugs and back onto the individual who chose to use them.

Back at Alice’s talk show, Kamala Harris doesn’t want to come and drink coffee and wine. It looks like Dr. Oz is going to have to come on the show and Alice is going to have to listen to him mansplain vaginas.

Bette and her campaign manager watch the Nunez’ family’s business partner/friend whose son died of an overdose interviewed on tv. He’s parroting the lines that Dani coached him with. Bette remarks that she’s fighting for the wrong side. Does this mean she’s going to convince Dani to join her campaign and use the Force for good?

Shane pulls up to her super-modern ranch with a view of the skyline where Sarah (the tomboy who is also Alice’s PA) is putting together the king-size bed Alice and Bette got her. She gets into a cathartic punching bag workout that a boxer friend of mine says isn’t the best form, but looks good doing it at least.  She gets some text messages. They’re sad. Someone misses Shane.

‘Who is it?’ asks Sarah.

“My wife,” says Shane.

OH SHIT.

Back at the Nunez offices, Dani and her dad show us a little more about their dynamic. Her dad rewards her for her shady propaganda work with a promotion to Senior VP.

Dani’s dad calls Sophie Dani’s little friend. His dismissiveness is probably going to propel Dani to propose to Sophie. She has a ring, she has Sophie’s utter devotion and passion. It’s time to show her stupid dad and the world that Sophie is more than a friend.

Meanwhile, Bette’s got a town hall to speechify. She is tackling the homelessness crisis in LA. Her campaign is turning out to be pretty damn progressive, and it’s so beyond lesbian and gay rights. She has our vote!

But it’s hard to stick to the issues when from the audience, a man asks her how she’s qualified to be mayor when she fucked his wife! Classic Bette. She’s always had an issue with stepping out. Can someone please talk to her about non-monogamy? This is embarrassing, girl! Get your life together!

Bette doesn’t want Angie to find out about her affair on Twitter. Cut to Angie who is plotting to get matching tattoos with her crush, and getting ready for a big blow out with her cheating mom.

Back at the Millenial ranch, Dani proposes to Sophie with a fat rock! It’s cute, but I thought generation Queer was all about being ethical sluts and too cool for gay marriage. This show is turning out to be about pretty boring lesbian normies so far and that’s fine by me!

At Alice’s taping (which like, what day is it? They’ve all been to work and are they now back for nighttime work? Is this a morning show? I thought they were here for coffee?), Alice wears her third matchy-from-head-to-toe look and I’m obsessed. She’s had a major glow up from her radio days to TV.

Bette Porter is on the show to talk about how it’s complicated, her whole sleeping-with-a-married-employee thing. Yeah, like Bette isn’t going to sleep with one of the generation Qs by episode three.

At the show’s end, each woman is spending their bed times thinking about their choices. Who’s making the right ones? Who’s out of step with their best life? Dani for one is sleepless. Tomorrow, she’s headed straight to Bette to ask for a job.

So far the L Word reboot is tackling some big issues in between soapy relationship stuff. This is the combination that made the original so important to the lesbian community. But now, the writing is a lot better. The whole thing is less heavy-handedly campy, and as nostalgic as I am for the original series, I will not miss things like the episode-opening flashbacks/mini-stories.

The season is set up for some juicy, sexy stories, mixed in with some true Times Up, #MeToo rebellion – just what we need in these hard times that look more like the Handmaid’s Tale every day.

The L Word Generation Q airs Sundays on Showtime, and you can stream it on Hulu with a premium add-on. Tune in every week for our recaps! Tell us your favorite moment of the episode in the comments below.