Catch up on Episode 7 first HERE
Welcome to Election Night at Dana’s where the air is heavy with anticipation as everyone waits to hear whether or not Bette will be victorious in her quest to become the first woman and openly gay mayor of Los Angeles. The hopes are high and the potential for a colossal letdown is strong. Brace yourselves.
Dani is feeling the stress the most. It is after all her job to make sure Bette gets her message out there, and winning is the ultimate prize. Bette, on the other hand, is calm and collected, but she isn’t resting on her laurels. Afraid to jinx anything while talking to the press, Bette chooses the reserved yet optimistic phrase “cautiously optimistic” in describing her hopes to Maya. After seeing them smile at each other, we can’t help but hope that these two will get to know each other on a more personal level.
At the party, Shane is helping Alice look at profiles on dating apps. Alice laments about how she went from having the best girlfriend to two girlfriends, to no girlfriends. They abandon the app after Alice rejects a woman with a parakeet because birds are chatty. (Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot.) Shane suggests a woman at the party.
Bette interrupts them and Shane gets a phone call and quickly departs because Quiara is in the hospital due to bleeding and a possible miscarriage.
As Bette joins the can-Alice-compete-with-a-parakeet conversation, Dani runs up to them and excitedly reports that they’ve called 11th District in Bette’s favor. Bette leaves and Alice shows Dani the woman with the parakeet and Dani says she dated her, and the birds were a whole thing.
Elsewhere at the party, Finley’s spotted Sophie. Finley is the embodiment of someone who has something on their mind, fidgeting and looking for an opening to try and get Sophie’s attention. That goal is quickly sidelined by the entrance of Dani, who gives Sophie a kiss. Sophie says she’s proud of Dani. Dani admits she’s never been more nervous in her life.
However, while they’re sharing this tender moment, Dani gets a notification that gives her bad news: they lost the 13th District. Dani walks off leaving Sophie alone with Micah and Jose. Sarah eventually walks up to them and hands Micah and Jose drinks with lime but no straws and then walks off with Sophie. This is gonna happen in real life if Dani doesn’t get her work-life balance under control.
Alice, having abandoned the dating app, is making small talk with Angie who wants to talk about when Alice lost her virginity. This isn’t exactly territory that Alice wants to dive into because she’s a decent human and Bette’s her friend, and if her show doesn’t get a second season, she’s gonna have to live on Bette’s couch.
So, Alice attempts to lie before telling her the truth, which leads Angie to ask an essential question: what is a movie-of-the-week?
Meanwhile outside, Finley and Sophie are sitting on the curb. The tumultuous triangle that’s existed between Finley, Sophie, and Dani is coming to a climax, and these two have quite a bit of unpacking to do in their relationship. Finley’s trying to wipe the slate clean and the cute nervousness is the most adorkable part of this situation, but that doesn’t change the fucked up choices Finley’s made along the way.
Nor does it change the fact that you can’t take back emotions, no matter how hard you try or how many cute moments you have on the curb.
At the hospital, Shane attempts to comfort Quiara who is waiting to see a doctor. Shane yells at the Doctor because dammit she may not have wanted kids but she isn’t going to let her wife suffer.
Quiara tells her that it’s okay sometimes bleeding early in the pregnancy is normal, but the moment has this foreboding feeling where you just know either the election or this pregnancy isn’t going to end well. And it comes to pass because she’s seen crying in their home later, and it’s revealed that she lost the baby.
Back at Dana’s, Dani is looking at the ways that the election could be won and knows they need the 5th District where Bette has struggled since the release of negative campaign ads. The good news is they get it, and that means the race is now in sudden heat as they wait for the final district to be called.
Dani and Bette go into refresh mode, compulsively checking the registrar’s website. This is about thirty seconds of the episode and it is the most intense, and riveting moment. There is so much hope in the air each time Dani and Bette refresh the screen. But, hopes are dashed when the race is called for Jeff Milner. Bette is upset, understandably for someone who, according to Alice, has never even lost her car keys.
The two women sit in silence for a moment before Bette gets up, reties the knot on her lavender blouse, puts on her coat, and leaves to give her concession speech. Gotta hand it to Bette, she always has it together.
The day after the election, Dani is home without anything to do. Her Type-A personality quickly hatches a plan suggesting that she and Sophie get married-in Hawaii. This essentially signals the millennial love triangle is finally going to snap since Dani is so excited about this plan, but Sophie isn’t. Now’s the time to scream at the screen saying, “This is a sign, Sophie! If this doesn’t feel right, get out now!”
Back at the Porter House, Bette is spending her first day after the mayoral election at home with Alice. After the news of Quiara’s miscarriage, Bette is thinking about when Tina miscarried. Shane joins them claiming she’s fine. Bette and Alice say that they’re there for her and Alice even says that if her show gets canceled she will be there a lot more, especially since she’s homeless after being ousted from her throuple.
Bette has received a call from Milner who wants her to spearhead a task force addressing the opioid crisis in Los Angeles. This looks like it would be the bright side to Bette’s loss, but something about it smells fishy and it may not be the olive branch it seems.
Alice finds inspiration in Bette’s ability to be herself on the campaign trail and calls a meeting with her show’s team. With her team gathered she decides to reconnect with her vision. They’re going to ditch the network mandate, and the viral videos, and tells everyone they’ll be making the show she wants to make. Take the wheel Alice! You have nothing to lose!
Dani breaks the news to her father that she’s marrying Sophie in Hawaii. Dani’s father is worried about Sophie’s past, but Dani assures her that they’re stable and they’re good for each other. Their conversation also reveals that Dani’s father has bet against her by negotiating terms with Milner for corporate expansion. Wow, that’s a low blow dad.
Back home, Quiara tells Shane that she still plans on having a baby. Shane’s reaction isn’t what Quiara hoped and she accuses Shane of being relieved that she lost the baby. Quiara is hurt, but also way off base, one wants to lose a baby and Shane has been supportive even if this isn’t what she originally wanted.
Shane says that she wasn’t relieved she just wants to be realistic and Quiara claims that Shane will never change and throws a ring at her before leaving Shane to cry on the floor. Shane, we know you love her, but sometimes when you want different things you have to let each other go.
Dani comes over to see Bette and she invites her to join her on the opioid crisis task force. Dani candidly informs Bette that Milner is using her to make it look like he cares when his connection to big pharma runs deep, leaving Bette to question if any of her campaign was worth it.
And then we’re back to Sophie and Finley. These two just won’t fizzle out. Sophie tells Finley that she’s marrying Dani and that they leave tomorrow for Hawaii. The tension between these two could be cut with a knife, and they feel it too because soon they’re peeling off each other’s clothes and having hot, clumsy, emotional sex in one of the rooms at the studio.
Elsewhere, Sophie is in bed with Dani and crying softly because she regrets her decision to sleep with Finley. At least it looks like regret, it could be frustration with this triangle she’s got herself involved in. Dani hasn’t been there for Sophie all season, and now that she’s free from the campaign she’s trying to romantic, but it reads as too little too late.
The other half of this equation, goes off to see Rebecca, the “not a real priest.” Rebecca is not happy to see Finley outside her house, but after Finley lets out some word vomit, looks somewhat relieved that she’s decided to pull her head of her ass and realize her mistakes. After listening, they have a short conversation in which Rebecca gives Finley some perspective on her feelings. Since Rebecca is good at her job, the advice she gives Finley makes actual sense, and to Finley’s credit, she actually listens and takes in what Rebecca has to say. Rebecca brings up shame and how Finley needs to take responsibility for the things she’s done wrong even if she starts small. So, Finley returns a stolen bike, and buys a plane ticket to Kansas City.
On the walk back down, Bette asks Angie if she and Jordi are having sex and gives her some advice before Angie gets distracted by a dog. The dog’s owner happens to be Maya, the reporter, who asks Bette out to dinner; like a date dinner, not a press dinner. Bette declines at the moment but Maya encourages her to think about it. Come on, Bette! This could be the ultimate meet-cute, and you could be a great match for each other. She cares. You care. Come on. You deserve happiness!
Then it’s time to get ready for Alice’s show. Finley and Sophie have a moment before the show where Finley announces she’s moving back to Missouri for her sister’s wedding. The look of disappointment on Sophie’s face is akin to a hurt puppy, except it’s hard to sympathize with someone who really just needs to make up her mind, and/or go with her heart.
Onto the show, Alice is interviewing Roxane Gay about the ideology of bad feminism and applies it to being a bad lesbian. When Alice opens up about the situation with Nat, and how she regrets inviting her ex-wife into the couple she confesses that she’s heartbroken. She just wants Nat and only Nat.
And who is in the audience but Nat! Sophie tells the cameras to keep rolling despite Alice’s protest. They may not need the viral video, but they damn sure got one! Nat comes to the stage and kneels in front of Alice. The audience gasps thinking Nat’s proposing, but Nat says she’s just trying to get closer to her. Nat brings up everything she loves about Alice including the fact that she burns the kid’s eggs.
Nat says she loves her and that she’s going to fight for her, and just her. They kiss and the audience applauds. All the while, Roxane Gay is in the background smiling sweetly. And with that Alice gets a happy ending this season. It’s nice to see someone have a happy ending, but given the road to get here, we have to wonder how long it will last.
Now the season has to end and it’s time for Sophie’s choice. Cut to a montage set to P!NK’s “What About Us.” Sophie’s in a car and Dani’s at the airport. Micah is alone with Jose pounding on the door. (Don’t let him in.)
Shane’s in the car with the ring Quiara threw at her when she spots a dog trying to search a trash can for scraps. Bette’s off to dinner with Maya. (Woohoo! About time she said yes to love!) Jordi and Angie are listening to music, and being adorable teenagers.
Nat and Alice are making out on the set of her talk show. (Yay for one happy ending!) Sophie enters the airport. Finley shows her boarding pass and gets on an escalator.
Shane gets back in the car with the dog in the backseat. (Shane’s gonna be a great dog mom!)
And then comes the decision, because how can there be romance without dramatically running through the airport? Sophie looks at the departure board and sees both her flight to Honolulu and Finley’s to Kansas City. As both flights start to board Sophie runs through the airport, and as the clock ticks towards the final boarding call and the music crescendos it’s hard not to think, “Why, oh why did this woman wait until the very last minute to make this choice?” (Yea, for television I know.)
The worst part is, we never find out who she chooses. Is she going to go to Hawaii and marry Dani who has been sitting at the gate anxiously awaiting her arrival? Is she going to go with Finley to her sister’s wedding? Is she boarding a third wild card flight we don’t know about? Has she finally realized that all this love triangle business is ridiculous and she’s not going anywhere? We don’t get the answer.
Thankfully this series has been renewed because we need to know who Sophie chooses. They can’t leave us hanging like that!
