RachelWatch: Hippity Hoppity Health Care Reform

Today: Gavin Newsom, a new promise on health care reform and the dumbest conspiracy theory in months.

They’re Not Embarrassed

Rachel kicked off with news of a new promise on health care reform. Senator Tom Harkin (D – Iowa) now says that we’ll have it passed by Easter. Rachel seems skeptical, so don’t whip up that celebratory batch of jellybean-and-Peep omelets just yet.

Rachel suggested that Democrats may finally be realizing that the Republicans won’t work with them. Which everyone else realized months ago when the Republicans flat-out said they wouldn’t.

“Everyone” might be the wrong word because I don’t want to suggest that only people had that realization. Plankton had it figured out. But good for the Democrats for catching up.

ZOMG! Scandal!

This is such a dotty little story that it’s hard to believe it’s gotten the traction that it somehow has.

The Missile Defense Agency has adopted a new, terrifying logo that is meant to symbolize our nation’s submission to Islam, as dictated by President Barack Obama, who took on the massive headaches of trying to prop up the economy and give all Americans health care because he secretly hates the United States.

Except that the logo came into use under the Bush Administration and, a bunch of other things that make the whole theory senseless, and, God, I am so irritated with any “news” outlets, even stupid partisan news outlets, that let an urban myth that is Pop-rocks-and-Coke-level dumb get into any kind of medium whatsoever.

This is not the way to stop embarrassing the thinking conservatives out of the party. Don’t they want anyone left who isn’t baffled by microwave popcorn instructions?

Easy debunking aside, I don’t think this flapdoodle will die down because it’s a game you can play forever.

For example, did you know that communist fascist Barack Obama wants to drive us back into medieval feudalism? The Army Corps of Engineers logo proves it!

The TRMS Interview

Rachel had a lovely chat with San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, who seemed to think his city is doing OK in spite of being infested with libruls.

Oh, yeah? Then why is there a devil tail on your city seal, buddy?

Count the Number of Things Wrong with This Tactic

In spite of an earlier incident in which the Census Bureau pointed out that this is a sleazebag thing to do, the RNC mailed out another fundraising survey that’s deliberately designed to look like a Census form, including using the capitalized word “Census” 12 times.

They also sent one of their official surveys to noted Republican Rachel Maddow.

A Contest You Don’t Want To Win

It was a real horserace for the Dumbest Thing in the News title last week.

The South Dakota legislature passed a resolution that public schools in the state should teach that a variety of things can affect the weather, including some stuff that’s just made up. Next up: a resolution that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is caused by mermaids.

But wait! Congressman Trent Franks (R – Arizona) wants you to know that American blacks were better off under slavery than they are now.

And ¾ of the Arizona House of Representatives want to see President Obama’s birth certificate. No, not the one that everyone has seen online. That secret second birth certificate all real Americans have.

When Obama drops it off, will they be handing him a list of ways he would have been better off under slavery?

Rather than declare a dumb-off winner, Rachel had Kent give Representative Steve King (R – Iowa) a lifetime achievement award.

High Priority

Rachel reported that Melanie Sloan, the executive director of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, had a package delivered to her house that wasn’t for her. You’d think she’d try to get it back to the rightful owner, wouldn’t you?

Oh, wait — did I mention it was a big box of drugs?