“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Superfreak”

In the other operating room, Jerry the TreeMan is having his warts removed one by one. Lexi asks Bailey if she can be excused so she can go outside to the waiting room and report the patient’s status to his wife. Bailey won’t let Lexi leave and makes her stay and watch the surgery.

The virgin patient is crying to Meredith and April and her fiancé walks back in and demands that she give him his mother’s wedding ring back. April tells him that the virgin patient is still a virgin. It is all just a misunderstanding. The virgin patient’s friends threw her a bachelorette party and made her put a condom on a banana with her mouth and she accidentally inhaled the condom. Come on, it happens!

It’s odd that April is telling this guy about his fiancé’s sexual promiscuity with fruit rather than the woman telling him herself. These two aren’t going to have a successful marriage if they can’t communicate with each other. The fiance laughs it off and says the wedding is back on. I guess this is supposed to be a happy ending but that guy was a jerk for walking out on his fiance without even letting her explain what really happened.

And gay couples are the ones ruining the sanctity of marriage?

Once Derek finishes operating on his brain tumor patient, Cristina asks to be excused from surgery and Derek lets her go. McSibling turns to Derek and calls Cristina a dud surgeon. Them’s fightin’ words! Derek tells McSibling that Cristina saved his life and yells at McSibling to leave his OR! McSibling exits and I wish she just kept walking until she got to the airport but there iare still a few more minutes left to this episode, so I’m sure she’ll be back for one more scene.

While Bailey is cutting off her patient’s warts, a spider crawls out from one of the growths. Bailey screams and yells at Lexi to kill the spider. What did that spider ever do to Bailey? Lexi stomps on the spider and kills it. And 10,000 baby spiders are now orphans. RIP Charlotte: September 2010 – October 2010.

Cristina might be too scared to operate, but her hair is fabulous in this episode. Derek confront Cristina and tells her that they might have not chosen to be in each other’s lives, but they are family now and he cares about her. Derek tells Cristina that she has a lot of potential and he doesn’t want her to give up on her career.

Apparently it’s confrontation day, because the Chief confronts Alex who’s been running up and down the stairs all day because he’s avoiding the elevator. The Chief says he knows that Alex almost bled to death in the elevator but he wants to help Alex over come his fear. The Chief gets in the elevator and says that they will ride up and down all day together until Alex gets over being scared.

Most of the doctors at Seattle Grace still have some serious PTSD. They should consider shutting down the hospital for a few months since it’s clear that most of them aren’t ready to operate.

Jerry the TreeMan is out of surgery and McSteamy tells Tess that the skin graphs won’t be able to be done for at least six months. Tess pleads that her husband has to get better because she hasn’t touched him in four years. She loves him but love isn’t enough any more. Gee, that’s depressing.

Derek takes Cristina to a private operating room so she can practice surgery on a dead body. Derek starts by trying to get Cristina to remember the surgery she performed on him, which saved his life. Derek hands Cristina the scalpel and Cristina successfully cuts into the corpse. Then Derek asks Cristina what happened next and Cristina reaches for another medical instrument and continues working on the corpse recreating the surgery she performed. Success!!!

McSibling walks out of the hospital in her high heels (if I was the wardrobe stylist I would have put her in a pair of Keds) and Derek is standing waiting for her. Derek reminds McSibling about what really happened the day their father was shot. Their father was in a store that was being held up by a gunman and Derek and McSibling witnessed the whole thing. The gunman asked their father for his watch and he refused to give it up since it was a gift from his wife, Derek and McSibling’s mother. So the gunman shot and killed their father. That must have been one nice watch.

McSibling remembers crying out for her father but Derek covered her mouth and held onto her to keep her safe until the gunman left. Derek says he always wanted to keep his sister safe and that’s why he hasn’t called her to tell her about his almost fatal shooting.

Derek: You’re loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of me.

Derek and McSibling hug.I wish Calzona hugged in this episode. A topless hug would be even better.

Speaking of Calzona, they are in another scene together!

Calzona Scene # 3 – Start the clock at the 47 minute 29 second mark:

Bailey sits with Arizona, Callie and Teddy and passes around the bottle of brandy that she keeps in her locker. Bailey whines about her arachnophobia, Arizona whines about Callie’s living situation, “We’re going to live in a frat house forever.” I would LOVE to pledge Kappa Kappa Calzona! Wouldn’t you?

Teddy whines and cries about how she got too attached to McBeardy and speaking of McBeardy, he dramatically opens the door like Captain Morgan and breaks up the party.  

Bailey, Arizona and Callie scuttled out of the room so stop the clock at the 49-minute mark! Which adds another minute and 31 seconds to the Calzona screen time bringing the new lesbian screen time total to: 2 minutes and 44 seconds.

McBeardy sits down with the crying Teddy and tells her that she falls for men that aren’t available. She liked Owen who was engaged and McBeardy who was only around for a few weeks. Then McBeardy says he has “incredible magnetism.” I think he was joking but we all know the he and his beard meant it.