“The Challenge: Cutthroat” starts in on its girl-on-girl action

On this season’s reality competition The Challenge: Cutthroat, MTV started the first two episodes trying to not to be predictable. That’s right — the season opener and its follow-up had absolutely no girl-on-girl make-outs. They’re lucky I kept watching. Well, that’s a lie — I’ve watched almost every challenge show since I was 10 and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Luckily for all of us, though, we do keep watching, and, last week, two female contenders fell prey to the hot tub-and-alcohol trap and locked lips.

It all starts in the hot tub in Prague, when Paula, presumably having imbibed alcoholic beverages, declares, “Emily, I’m obsessed with you. I’m reasonably obsessed with you.” Emily, the bisexual hottie from Real World: D.C., grins and takes in the compliments. “No, but you’re very, very, like, attractive,” slurs Paula. Not really needing her castmates’ encouragement, Paula lunges over to Emily and plants a sloppy one all over her face. Even while Evil Monster Laurel is being the douche bag of the century for calling Big Easy out over his appearance and weight, Paula and Emily continue in their Sapphic bliss. Oh, reality love.

Paula, no stranger to making out with the ladies, reasons, “Emily is pretty. Ugh! And there was beer and a hot tub. It’s a perfect recipe!” No need to explain why, Paula — tell ‘em that it’s human nature.

Not to be a buzzkill, but in the “Cutthroat Confessional,” the contestants revealed that the hot tub was a cesspool of booze, sweat, urine, and other gross bodily fluids, and was not even chlorinated. Vom. We do also find out, though, that, according to Paula, “Emily is one of the coolest, most down-to-earth 21-year-olds” she’s ever met. Emily’s simply “likeable — and kissable.” Bonus points: she likes girls!

With fist fights, s–t-talking, and girl-kissing, it appears that The Challenge is back on track to its old, predictable ways. I am not complaining.