MTV finally brings us the “Cutthroat” challenge action we’ve been waiting for

Dear MTV, why must you hold out on us time and time again? You tease us with previews of Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Cutthroat hinting at some Sapphic moments, yet all we get is one clip all season. Why would you wait to air the lesbianic moments until the “Sh*t They Should’ve Shown” special when you could have garnered way more viewers had you woven them in throughout the otherwise lame series in Prague? I think we all know what MTV’s new year’s resolution will be. I hope they’re taking notes.

Nonetheless, MTV aired its usual deleted scenes special, and revealed to us that some usual and unusual suspects were indeed getting down in the Czech Republic.

First up, we have bisexual girl-next-door Emily from Real World: Washington, D.C., who had been lusting for the affections of Cara Maria, a.k.a. Abram’s annoying and twisted boo. Emily just wants to make out with her, and the easiest way to accomplish that? Spin the beer bottle in the hot tub so she has no choice, obvi.

Emily thought she was getting what she’d wanted, but disappointingly enough, CM apparently is a bad kisser — so bad that Emily called it the worst kiss of her entire life. That sucks. In CM’s defense, though, she said that she wished she wouldn’t have kised Emily in the hot tub and instead wished that she could’ve kissed her in her “own space” on her “own time.” Not sure what that means, but in conclusion, Cara Maria, you’re beautiful, just learn how to kiss.

That brings Emily up to having shared Paula’s, Tyler’s, and now Cara Maria’s saliva. If we find out more, you’ll be the first to know.

Next up, we have Ayiiia, out lesbian from Real World: Cancun, and, surprisingly, Melinda from Real World: Austin. The two built a fort around a bunk bed and were “hiding.” Jenn, who you might remember as the bedfellow of out lesbian and Duel 2 winner Rachel confirms that Melinda and Ayiiia did go “all the way.” Man, I wish I were doing more “hiding” these days.

The resident meatheads with boners, after becoming privy to all the girl-on-girl hiding, try to rush in to the room with cameras and whoops of, “Girl-on-girl? All right!” only to be stopped by the wonderful Tyler, who is just being a good friend. All the gross boys bemoan that Tyler was being a c–k blocker and preventing them from seeing some “hot lesbian action.” A couple a Prince Charmings. While I do appreciate Tyler’s compassionate efforts, that did prevent us girls (our level of perversion is up for debate) from, um, appreciating such a lovely pairing.

While it’s a shame that MTV withholds the real quality moments of the Challenges until the season is over, never fear! This show is never-ending — kind of like Lindsay Lohan’s long list of criminal charges. Until next Challenge!