The Golden Globes turn into the gayest globes ever

Claire Danes continued her sweep of award shows for her role in the HBO TV movie Temple Grandin. While there was nothing particularly gay about her win, my crush on Angela Chase probably helped me realize that I was gay. So every time she wins something, it makes me hug my My So-Called Life DVD box set a little closer.

In what appeared to be an awkward attempt to make nice with women everywhere who felt insulted by his terrible portrayal of women in The Social Network, writer Aaron Sorkin said some stuff about smart girls having more fun. And then he also said something about “elite” not being a bad word. That probably played better to the room of rich people than the viewing audience at home watching in their pajamas.

If Colfer’s emotional speech was the night’s heart, fellow Glee winner Jane Lynch’s speech was its funny bone. As she picked up the best supporting actress in a comedy series trophy, she channeled Sue Sylvester and said “I am nothing if not falsely humble” before thanking the cast, crew and her wife and date for the night, Lara Embry.

The gay was infectious last night, as Dame Helen Mirren herself seemed to be cruising the room. She stepped to the mic and said, “God there are some gorgeous women here tonight. And very smart, but very beautiful.” Helen, please know that many of the gorgeous women in the room feel the same way about you – as well as the women watching at home.

For best actress in a comedy series, Laura Linney took home the honors for the inaugural season of The Big C. She wasn’t in attendance, however, because her father had passed away earlier that evening. Best actress in a drama series meanwhile went to Katey Sagal for Sons of Anarchy. The camera panned to a happy Al Bundy Ed O’Neill clapping for his former TV wife.

The night’s gay connections continued with as Melissa Leo took home the best supporting actress honor for The Fighter. Leo played Helena Peabody’s ex on The L Word. The Six Degrees of Ilene Chaiken game is all fun and games until someone winds up floating face-first in the pool.