‘Wynonna Earp’ S2. E3: Haught vs. the Patriarchy

Previously on “Wynonna Earp,” Waverly got a serious case of the munchies and chowed down on a baby demon spider, Wynonna and Waverly discovered a Hellmouth fissure that attracted demon spiders, a Revenant, and some black fog ghost things, and Doc gave Wynonna the emotional Heisman.

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For reference.

This week starts with the gif that launched a thousand ships. It’s Waverly as you’ve never seen her before. Specifically, in a cheerleader outfit (she was both head cheerleader and prom queen in high school, we learn, because natch she was) doing a cheer for Nicole, whose face pretty much mirrors my own, which was something like: OMG this is happening and am I allowed to actually be watching this? Full props and kudos to 1) Dominique Provost-Chalkley, who looks absolutely fabulous, and 2) the cinematographer/director, who uses strategic pauses to highlight Dominique’s frame and face. The dialogue that follows is 100% true:

Waverly: I didn’t know if that was your thing.

Nicole: Baby, that’s everyone’s thing.

Audience: *Is dead*


Yaaaaasssss. Moar of this, please.

Actually, Nicole doesn’t quite understand it’s a private show until Waverly explains it for her. They then adorable together for a while until Wynonna shows up and Nicole flees like a high school boy whose girlfriend’s parents have come home. The Wynonna-Nicole friendship has really taken a hit since Waverly and Nicole started dating, which sucks. Whatever happened to top shelf conversations drinking liquor on the floor of the sheriff’s office? Wynonna, who, lez be real, has been pretty self-centered of late, is concerned about the Satanic ritual they found at the condo and still moping about Dolls’ absence, but Waverly is an optimist. Goooooo Wynonna!

Meanwhile, at Purgatory High School, a guy in a hockey jersey named Bryce (the guy, not his jersey. Probably the jersey is Stan, or Howard) is bitterly reminiscing about the price he paid for winning the trophy he’s looking at in a case until some monster with a burlap sack of a head (covered with maggots, for good measure) pops up to whisper deep, husky nothings in his ear and make him pull out his own liver, which of course immediately kills him.

Sheriff Nedley and Nicole show up to investigate, but Nedley wants the case passed over to Black Badge and for Nicole to sweep the apparent murder under the rug. The camera pans left to Wynonna, who is lazily snapping pictures with her iPhone and cannot be bothered to take the killing seriously, and then to Nicole, who is quietly dying inside. She’s trained for this, she’s committed, she’s a professional, and Wynonna is…munching on a donut. The knife in Nicole’s heart is serrated and just went another inch in deeper.


Also, those leggings.

At the newly re-opened Shorty’s, Doc is pressuring Rosie to work on his mysterious side project faster, but the bar is hopping and she’s got stuff to do, like make the liquor rain down like mana from the sky for the thirsty denizens of Purgatory. Wynonna arrives to talk to Doc about the dead body at the high school, but she runs into Mercedes first.

Mercedes sniffs heartache on her like a bloodhound smells blood and decides to help Wynonna get over it (it being Doc) by luring over a cute guy from the other side of the bar. Coincidentally the guy, Perry Croft, was the dead guy Bryce’s friend and a member of the same 2007 championship winning ice hockey team. Pass, says Wynonna. I prefer my guys to be over a century old or half lizard. This dude looks too normal.

When she finally finds Doc and tells him about the case, he’s apathetic. He’s still busy passive aggressively keeping her at arm’s length. Wynonna admits she can’t sleep at night anymore for worrying about all these demon creatures from the Hellmouth running around Purgatory. Turns out the weight of the world on your shoulders is heavy and also causes insomnia. (Side note: Wynonna is totally becoming Buffy Summers, amIright? The Chosen One who fights all the Big Bads that have been let out of the Hellmouth, who feels the onerous weight of the duty bestowed upon her by her position?)