Previously on Wynonna Earp, Waverly was bummed because she’s done all this research about Wyatt Earp and the Revenants but Wynonna is somehow the heir, Waverly found out their friend Henry was actually Doc Holliday, and then Doc told Wynonna.
We begin on the side of the road, where Wynonna needs good ol’ Hank to pass a test before she can just blindly believe he’s Wyatt Earp’s best friend. He tells her about a time he was dying of consumption and turned down Wyatt’s invitation to go to Purgatory. Wyatt had said what he thought was his final goodbye and then went off to prove there ain’t no such thing as devils.
Present-day Doc shows off his sharpshooter skills, proving to Wynonna without a doubt that he is who he says he is.
He explains that he has eternal longevity (which is to say he’ll never die of natural causes, but he’s not immortal) but no information about the Earp curse. He’s just here in Purgatory on some unfinished business. Naturally.
Cut to a woman begging for forgiveness of another woman, who is not having it. As soon as the desperate woman is alone, a creepy voice says, “Tick tock,” and ends up getting sliced by a monster in the mirror.
The next day, Wynonna shows up at the scene, unimpressed by the crime scene, finding “Repent sinners” written in blood on the mirror a little cheap for her tastes.
Wynonna pulls back the sheet to find that the vic is a local woman she knew and did not like at all, named Meghan. When she goes to the precinct to tell her sister, Waverly, of course, loved her, because Waverly is the town favorite. Dolls asks if Waverly has any idea which Revenant they should start looking at first, and she suggests Father Malick, because he hated woman quite a lot. She wants to go out in the field with them as a reward for her helpfulness, but Dolls vetoes it right quick.
As soon as Dolls steps out, Wynonna tells Waverly that Henry is Doc Holliday, but Waverly not only already knew, but has already gotten shot at and manhandled for knowing.
And of course, this information sends Wynonna right to kick Doc’s ass. He escapes the encounter by the skin of his teeth and sends Wynonna to the trailer park to find their lead suspect.
At the trailer park, Dolls has to practically lasso Wynonna to keep her from putting them in a Bonnie and Clyde situation, but she keeps her cool until they come face to face with Bobo. Bobo taunts Wynonna and is real gross about it, but Dolls keeps her from ripping off his undead bits with her bare hands and gets Bobo to tell them where Malick is, which he does with the promise that no one will hurt him.
They go to Father Malick’s tent, where the actual stench matches the rottenness of his soul. He thinks all women are whores, and is glad the whore in question is dead, but couldn’t have killed ANY whores on account of his legs have been cut off at the knees, and not very cleanly from the looks of it.
On the way back into town, Wynonna catches a glimpse of Revenant Scissorhands in the rearview mirror and recognizes him as one of The Seven.
A witness saw another woman at Meghan’s house before she died, so Wynonna and Dolls go to talk to her, but Wy’s not excited about it since this Samantha chick was another mean girl from high school, but she sucks it up and they hear the woman out. Samantha glares at Wynonna the whole time she’s telling her story about how her father was killed in a drunk driving accident after an end-of-year bash when they were in high school, and she hadn’t known who was driving the car until Meghan confessed.
Meanwhile, at Shorty’s, Doc comes into the bar but Waverly ignores him and Gus refuses to serve him, so instead of going to the liquor store and drowning his sorrows by his lonesome, Doc sidles up to a sad looking fella and drinks from his bottle. The guy speaks of regret, but Doc cares only for his own revenge mission, so doesn’t see the desperation on this guy’s face, nor does he care when he gets up to go to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, the man hears that fateful, “Tick tock” and tries to hide (in a stall?? Poor choice.) but still gets hella murdered.
On their way out of Samantha’s house, Wynonna is visibly flustered, so Dolls makes her tell him what’s going on.
She explains that Meghan was a mean girl. Meaner than Regina George-someone who would make Alison DiLaurentis proud. She used to fill Wynonna’s locker with entrails- ACTUAL ANIMAL ENTRAILS-every single week because Wynonna was the girl in foster care who was in and out of juvie and mental institutions because she killed her own father. Because teenagers are the actual worst. Well anyway, at the 11th-grade end-of-year bash, Wynonna hooked up with Meghan’s boyfriend to hook up with her. Meghan walked in on them, grabbed her boyfriend’s keys, and stormed off. Wynonna never connected it with Samantha’s dad’s death, and now she blames herself.
Dolls tells her that she was only 16, and I know he thinks he’s helping, not pitying her or giving her fluffy, meaningless words like some people would, but I still think a little, “It wasn’t your fault,” would have been nice. Because at the end of the day, Meghan chose to get behind that wheel. Wynonna can feel guilty about sleeping with Meghan’s boyfriend all she wants, but this death is not on her. There had to have been someone Meghan could have asked for a ride.
Anyway, back at Shorty’s, Doc goes into the bathroom to find his drinking buddy, but he’s super dead. He sees the Revenant in the mirror and whips out his knife to fight him, but when he turns around, he’s still alone in the bathroom. Well, alone with a cut-up dead body. While wielding a knife. Which is how Waverly finds him when she comes into the bathroom. (Which is, I guess, co-ed?)
The dead man was a probation officer…Wynonna’s old probation officer at that. Waverly says it had to have been Doc who killed him, but Wynonna assures her that can’t be true, and she knows darn well why not. Dolls is suspicious about the way the girls are talking about Henry, but says he’ll figure it out himself down at the station.
Which the girls aren’t terribly thrilled about.
Dolls walks into the interrogation room, and the boys have a Who’s Tougher competition. Dolls says Henry’s fingerprints aren’t in any system whatsoever, and Henry says he can tell Dolls is hiding secrets. Secrets that make him worried about Wynonna. And then Dolls…laughs.
The girls (and I) are scared at this turn of events.
In fact, Dolls acts weird this whole episode. He’s downright smiley compared to his usual stoic self. I think he gets off on demon murders.
After he comes out of interrogation, Dolls asks Wynonna when she was going to tell him about Casper over here. Wynonna explains that Doc is not a ghost, he’s just really, really old and not aging. Way less weird, right?
The next stop on this investigation is the probation officer’s wife, who only wants to talk to Wynonna. When they get to her house, the woman admits that her husband sold drugs, something Wynonna knows first hand because he used to use his charges as runners. In fact, one of the times Wynonna ended up in juvie was because she was busted doing a job for him and refused to snitch.
The wife says she got a message from the Revenant and she’s next, so Dolls and Wynonna run around covering up mirrors. The wife catches up with Wynonna in the master bedroom and asks for Wynonna’s forgiveness. She called in an anonymous tip to get Wynonna busted and save her husband. Wynonna scoffs at the idea of forgiving her until the Revenant tick tocks his way in and then she shouts her forgiveness loud and clear. But the Revenant says Wynonna doesn’t feel it in her heart. Wynonna shoots the mirrors to try to stop him, but he still gets the wife through the reflection in the TV. He licks the blade because guilt tastes like ranch dressing and tells Wynonna it’s her turn.
She has two hours to get everyone she’s wronged to forgive her.
Dolls comes up with a plan. Two plans, actually. Plan A is to do a ritual to make the Revenant corporeal. And Plan B is for Wynonna to get the forgiveness she needs in case the ritual doesn’t work.
Wynonna runs into Shorty’s, and her first instinct is to run to her sister, but she hesitates and turns on her heel, talking to an ex-boyfriend instead. It backfires, ending with the guy and his brother chasing each other out of the bar, and she explains her little dilemma to Waverly, and she wants her big sister to run, but Wynonna is done with buses for a lifetime. Instead, she just needs Waverly to help her identify this Revenant and meet up with her and Dolls after she finishes her apology tour.
Waverly goes to see Doc in prison because she needs help identifying the Revenant, and he’s seen him. She has a bunch of research, including police reports she technically shouldn’t.
Doc finds the guy in question, August Hamilton. The Demon Barber of Purgatory. Everyone would go to get a shave and confess all their sins, so Wyatt Earp calls him to be a witness, but August never made it to court. She lets him out, as promised, but when the two of them show up, Dolls and Wynonna start shouting. Waverly snaps them back to attention and Dolls gets to work setting up the ritual that will hopefully make August fleshy enough for Wynonna to shoot him between the eyes…or, eye sockets as the case may be
Waverly knows Latin, because of course she does, making her in charge of the evoking bit. While she recites the ritual, other demons who hate Dolls try to poke through, but Waverly keeps going until August possesses Dolls.
They tase Dolls and get the demon out of him, but he’s still not corporeal enough for Wynonna to end him. Wynonna does CPR to save Dolls, who’s disappointed to see it didn’t work. Waverly says that the Revenant’s body has to exist somewhere, and then Dolls coughs up water, giving them a clue as to where August might be. Wynonna is actually the one to suggest his body is underwater, and then high fives herself for being smart, and it’s the actual cutest.
Doc leads them to Big Deep Lake, which is neither big nor deep, and sure enough, August Hamilton flies out of the water. He grabs Wynonna and holds a blade to her throat, asking her who she hurt the most, and the answer is literally standing right in front of her: Waverly.
Waverly says she’ll always forgive her sister, but Wynonna runs through all the ways she’s hurt her just in case. She’s sorry she killed their father, sorry she let them take Willa, sorry she left. But the first two weren’t even her fault, and she came back eventually, so those aren’t what’s bugging Waverly. Then it hits her. She says she’s sorry she’s the heir, that Waverly should be the one to break the curse. Wynonna apologizes even though that also isn’t her fault, and Waverly says she forgives her. Wynonna manages to get out of August’s grip and says she’s done being judged by men and being made to feel bad for all the things she’s done wrong. It’s time to do some right.
And she sends that jerkwad back to the hellhole he crawled out of.
Doc tells Wynonna to make sure she apologizes to people she’s wronged, something he was never able to do, so she goes right to Waverly to apologize again, just as genuinely, but this time without a demon holding a weapon against her.
Waverly tries to play it cool, so Wynonna breaks out the bubblegum sake (which made me gag almost as much as Father Malick’s fingernails) and have a heart to heart. Wynonna tells her little sister that it’s okay to be mad. Waverly expresses her frustration; she researched for years, she got a degree by correspondence to learn how to break the curse, but it’s Wynonna, who never tries at anything, who gets to be special. Waverly is just Waverly.
But Wynonna disagrees. Waverly is awesome. That’s why everyone in town loves her; it’s how she’s able to love her buswreck of a big sister even after everything. (Side note, has Waverly ever tried shooting Peacemaker at a Revenant? Are we even positive it won’t work? Because I’m still unconvinced Willa’s dead, which means technically Wynonna is second in line, which means ANY of Earp’s heirs could shoot Revenants, and maybe their dad just wanted to make sure the oldest was the one in charge. But I have no reason to believe this theory beyond my own wanting Willa to not be dead.)
Wynonna tells Waverly that this is the part where she tells her she loves her, too.
And Waverly just smirks and says Wynonna is awfully needy for a lone wolf. Because wolves aren’t meant to be alone, they’re pack animals, protective by nature.
Flash back to Wyatt Earp coming back from Purgatory to find Doc in bed with two whores, not a blood-soaked cough rag in sight. Doc tries to say it’s a miracle, but Wyatt just saw literal hell and knows now that true evil exists and that Doc must have made a deal with a demon. He says that he got cursed in Purgatory, but Doc’s betrayal hurts him more. They stand mustache to mustache and Doc tries to tell Wyatt that just because he has a new lease on life doesn’t mean he’s not the same old guy. But as far as Wyatt Earp is concerned, Doc Holliday is dead.
What did you think of “The Blade”?
Here are some of our favorite #HaughtDamn tweets from this week:
I was *actually* startled by Dolls bursting into laughter!! #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Adrienne. (@legacymermaid) 23 April 2016
But like, you can’t tell me that Wynonna isn’t the Angélica of the Earp sister #WynonnameetsHamilton #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Jessica Buonocore (@jayelkru) 23 April 2016
Waverly, you know Latin. You also have to know CPR!! Get to it girl! #WynonnaEarp #Haughtdamn
– J.P. (@jmdklp) 23 April 2016
You probably could get an obsidian mirror at Ikea. Valid question Wynonna #HaughtDamn #WynonnaEarp
– MicNic12 (@micnic1291) 23 April 2016
Alliterative and adorable? Oh, Waverly…. #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Dulcie Holtz (@DulcieHoltz) 23 April 2016
Waverly in short shorts appreciation tweet #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– My Name Is Kitty (@SongOfSupercat) 23 April 2016
Hey Wynonna, I know you’re trying to save people but you just shot like 4 mirrors, that’s 28 years bad luck. #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Lady Liberty (@CindyLMarshall) 23 April 2016
literally give me every second you have of the earp sisters protecting each other. i am alive #HaughtDamn
– Awesome (@groceryfiend) 23 April 2016
Unfortunately for me, “Awfully needy lone wolf with cute dimples, really blue eyes, and baggage” is exactly my type #HaughtDamn #WynonnaEarp
– Emmalee (@Shipper648) 23 April 2016
Shooting the patriarchy right between the eyes. Get ’em Wynonna! #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– Nic (@njnic23) 23 April 2016
“You don’t have to kill to get more Wynonna Earp…” But who do I have to kill to get more officer Haught? #WynonnaEarp #HaughtDamn
– enginerd (@enginerd_90) 23 April 2016
