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Adventure Time Distant Lands: Obsidian Gave Lesbians Everything We Want

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I am so used to giving and now I get to receive. When Adventure Time, Distant Lands: Obsidian was announced, I thought it would be a cute little episode about Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen. I thought it would be similar to the Stakes story arc, sprinkling in crumbs to remind us that they’re a couple, but never giving us the whole loaf. I have never been so glad to be wrong. Obsidian gave us some of the best lesbian content of the year. 

Let’s Catch You Up

Over the course of the show’s 10 seasons, viewers were given crumbs of subtext about the relationship between Bonnibel and Marceline. They were on again off again, will they won’t they, they were hey that’s suspiciously gay. And as the series progressed, so did their relationship. But, unfortunately the network just wouldn’t let us have one nice thing. Fans had to wait until the season finale to finally see these two confirm their relationship with a kiss. And that’s what you missed on Glee Bubbline. 

Obsidian

We start our adventure in the Glass Kingdom. Of course we do, the episode was named after a type of glass after all. Glass Boy, who is constantly made fun of for having a crack, accidentally awakens a dragon in an attempt to fix his glass scar. Not to worry! Marceline the Vampire Queen defeated this dragon once before and she can do it again. And where do we find her? At home building furniture with her girlfriend. 

You know it’s real lesbian love when they’re putting together IKEA furniture together. Between scenes of Glass Boy’s journey to find Marcy, we’re treated to a look at Bubbline’s domestic life. 

So Bonnie left her castle in the Candy Kingdom to live with Marceline in a cave and you just expect me to be calm? Bonnie “I must watch every single thing my citizens do” Bubblegum allowed herself to live her own life and stopped micromanaging her kingdom to sleep with Marceline in a bed that is half the size of the one she had in her castle?

I am living. Once we’ve had a look at their domestic bliss, in comes the problem. Glass Boy finally finds Marceline and explains the situation. But the couple are hesitant to help. And eventually we find out it’s because the Glass Kingdom was the site of their break-up. Yikes. But the wee glass lad is so desperate, they decide to go anyway. Once there, Marcy is treated like a celebrity, but everyone dismisses Bonnie. Everyone expect Marcy that is. 

And it’s here we get a flashback to the moment they broke up. In the form of a song of course, what did you expect? 

It tracks with everything we know about them so far. Bonnie is obsessed with being able to solve every problem and Marceline can’t seem to take anything seriously. But this time, her song has no affect on the dragon. She leaves in a huff, off to find more sources of frustration and anger.

It’s here that the episode fleshes out more of Marcy’s past before she met Simon. We learn her mother became very sick. But instead of telling her daughter, she sent her off on a quest to find an old bunker where she might be safe in a post-apocalyptic world. But of course, baby Marcy sees this as her mother sending her away because she’s scared of her. She carries this for the rest of her life. That is until nearly a thousand years later when she finally hears a message her mother left her before her death.

Once reunited with her bubblegum bae, Marcy says that she’s moved past rage and frustration. Which would have been great if there wasn’t a dragon destroying the whole kingdom. In their attempt to stop its rampaging, the couple are trapped in a cave with the beast. And it’s here that Marceline decides to give the lesbians everything they want. Her song was so gay that King Princess covered it. 

And because this aired on HBO MAX and not Cartoon Network, we get this kiss. 

And it turns out, the dragon needed a little softness as well. Because Marcy’s song set it free. The end, right? Not quite. We get one more gift before this ends. Marcy finally gets to slow dance with her girl to a song called “Eternity With You.”

And the last thing we see? The moment Marcy gave Bonnibel That Shirt™️.

Is It Worth the Watch? 

If you don’t mind animated shows, absolutely. The writers of this episode certainly understood that a good chunk of the audience would be adult lesbians and bisexual women who most likely grew up with the show in some manner. But, they still managed to make it something a younger viewer would enjoy. Kids watching will think, “hey everyone’s got their “cracks” and that’s okay. We shouldn’t be mean to people who are different.”

But some of us adults received a much needed reminder. You’re not the bad things that happened to you. You’re not a monster because some things about you are demonized. You still deserve love even if you have a few “cracks.” It’s okay to be a little soft even if the world forced you to be hard.

These two women went back to the place of their greatest pain, worked through it, and had a happy ending. Bubbline gave us all this, a picture of lesbian domestic bliss, some kick ass songs, and no one died or was forced to be with a man. And that’s why Obsidian was some of the best lesbian content we’ve seen all year. 

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