Equalize It: Life Lessons from Queen Latifah’s Equalizer

You can’t help but feel like you can take on the world after watching Queen Latifah’s Equalizer, now in its second season streaming on Paramount+. The TV show follows Robyn McCall, (Queen Latifah), an ex-CIA operative, who is the person you call when you need help and there is no one to turn to. She’s also a mom and veteran, with a heart of compassion for the underdog and the voice for the unheard.

AfterEllen readers, especially, will appreciate the no-nonsense representation of the lesbian experience: even if it isn’t stated, there is a lot of value, courage, and pride anchoring the show thanks to the leading lady—and let’s not forget Aunt Vi (played by Lorraine Toussaint), who reconnects with her former lesbian partner, reminding us it’s never too late to try again!

What follows are several distinct ‘life lessons’ from The Equalizer Series, that you can take away and apply in your life to live it bolder, unafraid, and with love at the forefront.

Family Comes First

As the person you call when no one’s listening, Robyn’s days are filled with helping people facing dire emergencies, often on a time crunch. One of her greatest conflicts is juggling her responsibilities to others with that of her family life, which includes her daughter, Delilah (played by Laya DeLeon Hayes) and Aunt Vi.

After missing several key moments in her daughter’s life, Robyn makes changes to create more balance between her secret operative life and the one at home. One critical move she makes includes asserting the very practical advice that when she’s home, be home, allowing her to close the mental door on the work stuff. She even has a ritual she starts, which she’d picked up from a fellow colleague, Detective Marcus Dante (played by Tory Kittles), that includes a mini-mediation, allowing her to be present, and a squirt of aromatherapy spray to clear her mind before switching gears to ‘home life.’ S1, ep. 7.

With small measures to create balance, Robyn begins to feel less pulled and more in harmony doing what she loves, while also spending quality time with the people she loves most.

If We’re Not Failing, We’re Not Trying

Life can feel terrible and overwhelming, especially when you try your hardest to make a difference. While Robyn is out solving the murder of a young black man (S1, ep. 4), Delilah is taking on the town over a pothole that has caused several accidents, including her own recent fender-bender. She goes as far as securing a meeting with the mayor to discuss a solution to fix the road. But the mayor has no intention of helping, sending Delilah away without fixing the problem.

Although, Robyn brings the young man’s killer to justice, the pothole—symbolic for the unresolved discrimination and injustice—remains unfixed, leaving Delilah discouraged. But Robyn is right there to remind her that even when it seems like we’re failing, we’re trying, and in the trying, we are more likely to find a way forward. She explains, “Every now and then in life, you’re going to hit a brick wall—it’s how you respond that matters.”

With that, Aunt Vi shows up with a shovel, and the three take matters into their own hands to fix the pothole, once more demonstrating: if you want something done, sometimes you have to do it yourself.

Change is Coming

Even though it might not seem like the world is changing, Robyn shows us that incrementally, one life, one small effort can get the wheel of change moving toward a more compassionate, inclusive world, for all. In S2, ep. 2, “The Kingdom,” Robyn finds that Delilah lied to her about where she’s going. Rather than call her out on it—even before she’s actually done anything—Robyn extends her trust, something she learned by helping two gay Saudi Arabian men, whose families failed to understand them, nearly costing them their lives.

When Delilah is given the chance to be accountable to her mom, she goes as far as stepping out the front door to leave for the concert she’d lied about—but she comes back! The space Delilah is given, at her pace, allows her to make a choice that reverberates the trust Robyn had given back to her, building their relationship, rather than fraying it.

Likewise, though Robyn was only able to help one gay couple, we are given a chance to see the wheel of change is capable of turning, and slowly ushering in a new understanding of the diversity of love going on all the world over.

It’s Okay to Need Help and Ask for It

The show is built on the notion that to create change, we need to ask each other for help. Even Robyn, who seems incredibly invincible, is only so, because of her ability to seek help from those around her. It’s not a matter of weakness, but a means of mutual cooperation to allow others to do what they are best at, to aid your efforts, while being vulnerable enough to ask and receive the help. In a way, it’s suggesting that we don’t have to go it alone.

When Delilah suffers a bad post-traumatic stress reaction, weeks after witnessing her best friend murdered, (S2, ep. 6), Robyn stops everything to give her the care she needs. Although it seems like Delilah is going to be fine, Robyn recognizes the very true and real signs of PTSD, including anxiety and denial, having experienced it during her military career, and responds by getting Delilah the professional help she needs. Robyn shows that there is no shame in getting help, especially when we may feel humiliated or different than others.

At the same time, we’re given an eye-witness view into a life where help wasn’t given—this is portrayed through an active-shooter on a killing spree that will end with a showdown at a children’s playground, if Robin can’t stop him. She does (of course) but at the cost of the shooter’s life. “Everyone needs help from time to time,” Robyn explains, reminding us that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is get help for those in our care, even when that person is ourself.

Equalize it!

To equalize is to level up the playing field, and Queen Latifah, through Robyn McCall, gives us the tools, the life lessons, to navigate our world, our diverse lives, our families, through understanding our strengths and weaknesses—and that the latter, doesn’t keep us from having a voice, but rather demonstrates our value, our humanity, our uniqueness and beauty.

With pride in our own voice, we can find a path of equality, for all, that makes room for our differences, without needing or wanting to change others.