Why Do I Keep Having Nightmares My Partner is Cheating on Me?

This morning I woke up as I normally do, hitting snooze five times while contemplating the actual necessity of taking a shower when suddenly I remembered what happened to me while I was sleeping. My wife dream-cheated on me. I shot up and glared angrily at this woman who was laying beside me as she slept peacefully in her cut off T-shirt and boxer shorts. How could she do this to me? She rolled over to put her arm around me, opening her eyes just enough to see the look of angst and heartbreak written all over my face as I continued to send piercing glares in her direction.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Are you OK?”

“Uh, no, I am not OK, because you cheated on me last night,” I said with a serious attitude.

It doesn’t take her long to bring me back to reality, reminding me that it was just a dream and how much she loves me. Although I am certainly comforted by this, I will spend the rest of the day haunted by the images of my dream and can’t help but feel a little irritated. I realize it was just a dream but still, it hurt!

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I think it’s safe to say most of us have either cheated or been cheated on in our dreams at one time or another. One friend described to me a dream in which she was the one cheating on her girlfriend and she woke up feeling extremely remorseful and contemplated whether telling her partner was a good idea or not.

“I have actually had that dream a few times over the years and I did tell her about it once, but I definitely wouldn’t tell her again,” she said. ” It just didn’t make anyone feel good.” 

Another friend told me she has frequent dreams about her partner cheating on her and it sometimes could take her all day to get over it.

“In the dream, it’s so sad to me that she was treating the way she was,” she said. “Which is usually very flippant, like ‘Yeah, it’s over, bye.’”

In an attempt to find out the meaning behind this popular recurring nightmare, I came across Dreams Cloud, one of many online dream dictionaries. The site states that dreaming about someone cheating on you may mean you are feeling neglected by your partner at that time in your life, or perhaps you are suffering from insecurities about not feeling adequate enough for your partner. However, if you are dreaming about cheating on your partner, it could mean “a simple wish fulfillment or a desire for something new and exciting. The dream is providing an opportunity to safely explore your sexuality.” 

Of course, opinions can vary when it comes to the meaning of dreams. According to dream analyst Jane Teresa Anderson, dreams are inevitably about you. In an MSN article written about this very subject, Jane discusses how the people in our dreams are simply a symbol and dreaming about a partner cheating on you is a deeper issue within yourself, and has nothing to do with them. It could be that you have been untrue to yourself in some way or that you are in denial about something going on in your own life.  She also believes that rather than confronting them about what they did to you in your dream, confronting yourself is a better way to gain understanding about why those dreams are happening.

So the next time you wake up feeling like you want to punch a wall because your significant other has dream-cheated on you, keep in mind that often times the problem doesn’t lie with them, but it resides in you.

Essentially, if you feel you are betraying yourself,” says MSN’s Kristen Michaels. ” Or ‘cheating’ yourself, in any way, you just might be susceptible to a cheating dream.”