“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (7.01): Things that go bump on the head

At the office, Jane commiserates with Nina about getting shot. Take it from the good detective; she has been shot multiple times on this show. Heck, once she even shot herself. Maura, now back, rings for Kent. He comes running like a well-trained lapdog. He even offers to fetch. See, guess Jane’s newspaper rap on the nose worked.

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But now, all of a sudden, he starts gushing about Maura’s empathy and making weird soft eyes at her. Beard, know thy place. Again, I say, they killed Senior Criminalist Susie Chang for this guy? Maura offers him a raise and more responsibility, probably so he’d stop low-key flirting with her.

So now, it’s time for them to finally go find Little Orphan Druggie and the tunnel gang. Maura comes in with some info to help plan, and Jane pointedly asks where she has been. Maura promises to “tell you about it later.” This is followed by some serious, I-don’t-care-all-our-co-workers-are-watching eye sex.

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So now it’s time for Jane to once again don her bulletproof tank top and go find Alice in the less than wonderland of the sewer tunnels. Even though they’ve brought an entire SWAT team, somehow Jane ends up all on her own at some point. Has no one on this show ever heard of the buddy system?

She, of course, finds Alice and her rag-tag crew. Shots are exchanged. Insults are exchanged. Then Jane and Alice finally face off, between a human shield of tunnel urchins.

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More insults are exchanged. And then Alice instructs the head tunnel urchin to shoot the others and runs off. For all the hell she has rained down on Jane, this is the best she can do in the evil mastermind department? I am not impressed. I mean, she wasn’t even stroking a bald cat.

Jane ends a frustrating day by having Maura come back to her place. Yes, we get our first glimpse of Jane’s new place. It’s…something. Actually, it’s not her at all except for the one photo. And, yep, you guessed it–that one photo is of her and Maura together. I mean, I don’t even have to say anything else. That says it all.

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