Two different shows last week mentioned the Bechdel test and whether or not they were passing it, both being shows that have and often do pass it. I’m not sure anyone involved in Once Upon a Time has ever heard of it, and I feel pretty confident this show hasn’t passed it since Merida stormed off. Certainly not in this episode, what with the influx of dudebros.
The good thing about this episode was that it brought us one step closer to Mulan. Just a few more weeks! Anyway, let’s get into it.
Synopsis
Despite having a horde of family members that should be paying attention to his whereabouts, Henry and Cruella hunt for the magic quill.
As they trudge through the woods, Henry runs into the Apprentice, who tells him that he needs to get into the Sorcerer’s house, which he can do by getting the key from the sheriff. He also says he trusts Henry to make good choices, which means the Apprentice has no idea that Henry has a healthy dosing of Idiot genes that not even his two moms can stamp out.
Meanwhile, Emma heals Hook with the wave of her hand, and Hook says what we’ve been saying all along: Emma resisted darkness for weeks and Hook gave in after a few seconds because he’s weak. Emma thinks he’s still worth saving, Hook and the rest of us think probably not.
They hear a knock on the door, and it’s Liam, Killian’s brother. Since Hook loves Liam, they decide to ask him for help. He says there’s rumor of a book, and now they know they have to find the Storybook like the one they had in Storybrooke. They go to the Charming Loft to look for it, where Liam pulls Emma aside and says she’s not good enough for his brother. He calls her selfish for not just letting him die a hero and says that if he manages to find the light, she has to let him go into it.
Henry comes in and says the Storybook is in the Sorcerer’s house and that they just need the key from the sheriff, and Emma’s supposed lie detector doesn’t go off, so they all saddle up and head out.
Liam decides to take a break to wash some glasses in his empty bar, and Hades comes to visit him and tells him to destroy his pages. He has leverage on Liam, a secret to be kept, so Liam agrees.
Snow and David find the key in the sheriff’s office and are interrupted by Cruella, who kisses all up on David, thinking that it’s James.
Team Charming goes to the house and split up to find the book. Liam finds it first and rips out the pages about Hades. The Team joins him and sees the pages missing, and Regina remembers doing the same thing to her own pages once.
Eventually, Hook realizes Liam took the pages, and a horde of angry dead pirates comes and says he’s hiding more than that. The secret Hades was keeping was that he came to him once and convinced Liam to sink the ship in exchange for his and Killian’s lives and the Eye of the Storm stone. As punishment, the pirates take Liam and Killian to the Hellmouth and intend to shove them in.
Hades interrupts and pushes Liam, but Killian grabs him. Liam lets go to take the punishment he feels he deserves, which ends up getting him a rowboat to heaven. He takes the pirates with him, but Killian has to stay to defeat Hades with Emma.
Henry finds the quill and eventually admits to his family that he’s been moping around because he doesn’t want to be useless, he wants to be a hero. But he thinks he knows how; he can use the pen to do what he’s supposed to do and record what happened, and in doing so tell them Hades’ story.
In his chambers, Hades pulls the torn pages out of a puddle and reveals that his secret that he’s going to such great lengths to keep involves Zelena.
SwanQueen Screen Time: 1
In the Sorcerer’s house, our two heroines stood at the Storybook together side by side like they were helming the same ship.
SwanQueen Sound Bytes: 2
At Granny’s, while waiting for the Two Idiots to get the key, Regina and Emma actually have an honest-to-goodness one-on-one conversation.
Granted, it’s about boys, but still. Regina tells Emma she’s too good for Hook and not to listen to Liam and to help Hook forgive himself. She knows from personal experience that it can be the hardest part. She even says that she and Hook are alike because Emma has a type.
The second one-on-one interaction happened after the above screenshot where they find the Storybook, and Regina whispers to Emma that she knows now what she meant when she called Liam self-righteous.
Dumbest thing one of the Two Idiots did:
David could have hidden with Snow White or ran out the back door. There was really no reason for him to pretend to be James as long as he did. But Cruella and I were highly entertained by how uncomfortable she made him.
Special Guests
I guess Liam counts as a guest. Hades is back, of course. Zelena’s likeness. And, the best guest, Cruella.
Emma Swan, your gay is showing
And I mean, I know beanies aren’t inherently queer, but combined with her swagger and the way she looks at Regina, this beanie felt extra gay to me.
Sassgina
When they first get to the Sorcerer’s house, Emma tells Henry to be the lookout. He starts to throw a fit about it, but Regina tells him firmly not to argue with his mother. When he starts to push back on her, too, she adds, “Or your mother.” It was a two-mom takedown, team parenting at its best.
Mulan sightings
Zilch. Just three more episodes…and it better be worth the wait.
Here are some of our favorite #SwanQueen tweets from this episode:
Previously on Once Upon A Manpain: There was manpain. #OUAT #queerytales
– Not SmartLittleLiar (@SongOfSupercat) 28 March 2016
“I think you’re too good for Hook” we all heard Regina right? #queerytales
– BB-1738 (@invisiblecircus) 28 March 2016
nah…David and James won’t meet…it would cost too much in CGI…#OnceUponATime #queerytales
– Brandi (@Smooth_Rayne) 28 March 2016
Yes Regina whisper in your wife’s ear all episode pls #QueeryTales
– Marie (@expert542) 28 March 2016
Hook wants to stay in the underworld? Yes! Let him! #queerytales
– Caitlin Block (@IdentityTokens) 28 March 2016
Is it wrong I’m rooting for Hades? Kill hook already. Keep him in the underworld nobody wants him! #queerytales
– Megan O (@BeckettFan) 28 March 2016
Whilst they’re in the Underworld can they find the grave of season 1 Emma? #queerytales #swanqueen
– H (@Ride_awhiteswan) 28 March 2016
To balance out the season of manpain can nxt season just be Regina & Emma sitting around drinking lattes and shooting the shit #queerytales
– schmemmm (@schmemmm) 28 March 2016
WHERE. ARE. MULAN. AND. RUBY. #OUAT #QueeryTales
– The Other Nic (@CloneNic) 28 March 2016
